I'd Buy it Back

I’d buy it back, if I could find it,
That old rocker where my babies slept
I tossed it out in a steeled moment,
Braced against the longing to hold on
For one more night snuggled close with a book
I’d like to rock them each again
But I can’t hold their tiny faces
Their hugging arms reach all around now
And I don’t rock them
Even the small ones
Who get less small every day.

I’d buy them back, those lost days
When I looked the other way and missed it
I should have held my breath
And held you each and all
Why didn’t I see the treasure in the moment?
Each night when you were sleeping, I could feel the wealth I had
But when tummies were hungry
And phones were ringing
I lost it
I wandered off and couldn’t make myself stay.

I’d buy it all back,
That rocking chair and all those chances
I’d hold your gaze in my smile
And keep your hand in mine.

But where would I put those moments if I could take them back?
My hands are small and can only grab one chance at a time--
And another chance is here at hand.
Free for the asking.
I'll take it.