I thought you all might like to know my house isn't a mess any more. It is a long way from a magazine cover, but the big messes are taken care of and I'm chipping away at the disasterous drawers and closets and dirt encrusted everything.
I found a sketch book I drew in a few years ago while cleaning and leafed through it. My children's younger eyes looked back at me, as I saw them with my own younger eyes. I had written on each sketch things like "Eyes too close together" "Nose too long" "looks human but not a good likeness", as if had I not written it there, someone might think I thought these pieces were good enough! It made me sick. The drawings were beautiful, and while not professional quality, were a welcome gift across time, a witness to the emotional connection between me and my little ones.
So, I'm trying to see my home through the eyes that should have seen those drawings. It is *home* above all, and not a show case of perfection. This is where we laugh, cry, eat, welcome friends, hash out life with family, and live. May I not lose the pleasure of resting in *home* while worrying about missing trim and too much dust.
PS--my husband still isn't happy, but it isn't about the house now, he's moved on to hating his job and worrying about the collapse of the US economy.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
You are a remarkably insightful person. I read this some time yesterday morning and have been thinking about your observation that you commented about your short comings so that no one would think you believed the drawings to be acceptable. I hadn't thought about it before but I think maybe I do that a lot! Just today, I brought my raw "turkey loaf" to a potluck, and couldn't mention it in conversation without saying "it's too bland." Wouldn't want anyone to think I didn't know! How humiliating would that be? I wonder how often I do that.
Of course, being an insane person, rather than thinking that I should give myself more credit for what I do, I'm instead wondering if people find it annoying that I point out the flaws all the time. Thanks for a very interesting post!
Post a Comment