The Naked God

I'm just finishing up reading the book of John with my kids. It has been a fantastic fresh look at who Jesus is and his relationship with the disciples.

A few days ago, Jesus was crucified. He didn't want to suffer and die, but what else could he do? It was his whole purpose for coming. They say that no one made images of the crucified Saviour until anyone who had seen an actual crucifiction had died. Our images are cleansed and made more palatable, easier to handle. Jesus Christ was beaten within an inch of his life, made fun of by morons, hung naked--naked! to die amongst the human refuse, desserted by the crowds that would have made him king. The only token of his true identity, Pilate's lame statement of faith, "The King of the Jews." He was tortured to death completely and finally. He was as dead as a Roman soldier could make him. Thomas thought he was so thoroughly killed that he scoffed that he'd have to put his fingers in the holes in his hands to believe the resurrection.

How could the Maker of Heaven and Earth, stand silent in a court of fools, and allow himself to be subjected to such abasement? Such pain, for an uncomprehending humanity? I can't even begin to understand. I find that I must look away. This is a fearsome God, a horrible twist. My heart squirms--if this is love, I want none of it. He could have stood up and ended it, but he understood something I don't. Though I can't bear it, I must know it, must know what he clung to when even the Father turned away.

I don't know how such thing ever became associated with Amway Christianity or Your Best Life Now. Jesus sure wasn't having his Best Life...but he looked beyond it.

Matt 16:24-26 "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 25 For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it." I do not know how to lose my life for Christ. I don't know how to stop wanting to save my life--my beautiful, precious life! With my kids, and my family, and the blue sky! I want to slam on the brakes and keep it! Before one more dies, before one more sickening revelation, I just want to make it stop and be My Birthday forever. How do I stop wanting that and lay down my life?

With Ransom on Perelandra, I reach for the "good that was..." How do I learn to live in the freefall?

This is so silly. I know how to do it. I do it now. I walk in the grace for today, the strength for the moment. I'd like a big storage unit of Manna, but it isn't served that way. Why? Because God loves me and He knows just what I need. I'd like to know my hope better.