I love everything. I love photography, writing, drawing, teaching, history, good conversation, dissecting movies and books, coaching the lego team kids, pursuing friends, growing plants, eating right, running, milking the goat...I love it all. Why do I do any of this? Is it because I should? No, I must admit I do it because I love it.
Does doing what we love please God as much as doing what we hate? Or, put another way, is it more pleasing to God for us to do what we enjoy or to do what we do not enjoy? I love teaching. It isn't because I feel like I'm giving something, though I may be. I just love it--love breaking ideas in little bits, love seeing them digested. Love to see others delight in new knowledge and to share in that wonder. Am I giving a gift when I do something for the personal joy of it? If I hated teaching and did it anyway because I thought it was right, is that worth more? My gut says that "God loves a cheerful giver." He is pleased when we walk in the goodness of what He put in us. Yet sometimes he does call us to do things we don't like. But once we step into those things, won't we find the joy of obedience even if we don't find the joy of washing windows? I think the joy of the Lord is in the submitted heart that delights in the fittingness of obeying the Spirit's direction, which places our feet in the footsteps of love.
For a while, I had to go running everyday. My heart compelled me to do so--I loved it. I had a running buddy and our time on the pavement was the highlight of my day. In that time, I felt the sheer joy of God when I was there. I don't think he was up there going, "Whew, she's finally doing something healthy." I have no idea if my little time sweating benefited my health--probably did. But if had been as unhealthy as smoking, I would have done it anyway because I loved it. I felt the pleasure of God in me, the appropriateness of doing something I was made for. I have a body that is tall and strong and fit and has a capacity for speed. It is good. Experiencing the goodness of what God has made is Good.
I am not sure how dying to self fits into this. Perhaps it is not so far away. We were, after all, made to walk in the Spirit. The delight of running the race is in the track where were created to be. Now that I think of it, giving with no holding back is delightful like those other things are.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Notes on Captivating
I am reading Captivating by John and Stasi Elderidge, the girl book to Wild at Heart. It has been somewhat frustrating and painful. The book often focuses on what is broken in the feminine and how women are twisted. Then it lays out the ideal. But the bridge between them is always the mystery.
I laugh cynically when I read that both the author and her husband had been thinking that they had disappointed each other, but it turned out that it was just the devil accusing them. They cast out that spirit of accusation, so that they could revel in their acceptance and satisfaction with each other. Ha! and double HA! To be married is to be disappointed and to disappoint.
I love being married and wouldn't trade my husband for anything. We have one of the most satisfying relationships I have seen or can imagine. But it has also been marked by pain, anger and unmet expectations and the death of dreams. No amount of casting out of demons would change that. The only thing that brings peace in that place is the death of self, and accepting what gifts my husband brings, and an end to trying to take what isn't there. Grace grows faster than slow healing, and learning to live without comes before learning to supply one another.
I have been bouncing ideas from Captivating off my husband, and he has been mostly unimpressed. I've been annoyed that he doesn't appreciate the feminine enough. However, I was very encouraged by his latest response: "My masculine self will never be fully realized in the flesh. Your feminine self will never be fully realized in the flesh. This does not mean despair... it means there is an alternate hope, a transcendent hope. I will not hope in the feminine nor the masculine... it is not destined to be. I won't find the leadership and teaching and mentorship and pastoral care from a man that I would like. I won't find the encouraging, submitted, obedient, wise, caring, women either."
It just let me off the hook, you know? Here's this ideal woman lifted up, and I can't be her. I can't get there. But it's okay, because this isn't the last stop on the train. My flesh will die, and I will awaken a Fully New Creation, with my femininity intact. As I walk in the Spirit now, I will taste the blessings to come, including more of what the sexes were meant to be, but uncrafted and uncontrived by human mind or hand.
I laugh cynically when I read that both the author and her husband had been thinking that they had disappointed each other, but it turned out that it was just the devil accusing them. They cast out that spirit of accusation, so that they could revel in their acceptance and satisfaction with each other. Ha! and double HA! To be married is to be disappointed and to disappoint.
I love being married and wouldn't trade my husband for anything. We have one of the most satisfying relationships I have seen or can imagine. But it has also been marked by pain, anger and unmet expectations and the death of dreams. No amount of casting out of demons would change that. The only thing that brings peace in that place is the death of self, and accepting what gifts my husband brings, and an end to trying to take what isn't there. Grace grows faster than slow healing, and learning to live without comes before learning to supply one another.
I have been bouncing ideas from Captivating off my husband, and he has been mostly unimpressed. I've been annoyed that he doesn't appreciate the feminine enough. However, I was very encouraged by his latest response: "My masculine self will never be fully realized in the flesh. Your feminine self will never be fully realized in the flesh. This does not mean despair... it means there is an alternate hope, a transcendent hope. I will not hope in the feminine nor the masculine... it is not destined to be. I won't find the leadership and teaching and mentorship and pastoral care from a man that I would like. I won't find the encouraging, submitted, obedient, wise, caring, women either."
It just let me off the hook, you know? Here's this ideal woman lifted up, and I can't be her. I can't get there. But it's okay, because this isn't the last stop on the train. My flesh will die, and I will awaken a Fully New Creation, with my femininity intact. As I walk in the Spirit now, I will taste the blessings to come, including more of what the sexes were meant to be, but uncrafted and uncontrived by human mind or hand.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
The Woodcutter's Horse
I really like this story, as told by Max Lucado in The Eye of the Storm:
The Woodcutter's Horse
Once there was an old man who lived in a tiny village. Although poor, he was envied by all, for he owned a beautiful white horse. Even the king coveted his treasure. A horse like this had never been seen before – such was its splendor, its majesty, its strength.
People offered fabulous prices for the steed, but the old man always refused. “This horse is not a horse to me,” he would tell them. “It is a person. How could you sell a person? He is a friend, not a possession. How could you sell a friend.” The man was poor and the temptation was great. But he never sold the horse.
One morning he found that the horse was not in his stable. All the village came to see him. “You old fool,” they scoffed, “we told you that someone would steal your horse. We warned you that you would be robbed. You are so poor. How could you ever protect such a valuable animal? It would have been better to have sold him. You could have gotten whatever price you wanted. No amount would have been to high. Now the horse is gone and you’ve been cursed with misfortune.”
The old man responded, “Don’t speak too quickly. Say only that the horse is not in the stable. That is all we know; the rest is judgment. If I’ve been cursed or not, how can you know? How can you judge?”
The people contested, “Don’t make us out to be fools! We may not be philosophers, but great philosophy is not needed. The simple fact that your horse is gone is a curse.”
The old man spoke again. “All I know is that the stable is empty, and the horse is gone. The rest I don’t know. Whether it be a curse or a blessing, I can’t say. All we can see is a fragment. Who can say what will come next?”
The people of the village laughed. They thought that the man was crazy. They had always thought he was a fool; if he wasn’t, he would have sold the horse and lived off the money. But instead, he was a poor woodcutter, and old man still cutting firewood and dragging it out of the forest and selling it. He lived hand to mouth in the misery of poverty. Now he had proven that he was, indeed, a fool.
After fifteen days, the horse returned. He hadn’t been stolen; he had run away into the forest. Not only had he returned, he had brought a dozen wild horses with him. Once again, the village people gathered around the woodcutter and spoke. “Old man, you were right and we were wrong. What we thought was a curse was a blessing. Please forgive us.”
The man responded, “Once again, you go too far. Say only that the horse is back. State only that a dozen horses returned with him, but don’t judge. How do you know if this is a blessing or not? You see only a fragment. Unless you know the whole story, how can you judge? You read only one page of a book. Can you judge the whole book? You read only one word of one phrase. Can you understand the entire phrase?”
“Life is so vast, yet you judge all of life with one page or one word. All you have is one fragment! Don’t say that this is a blessing. No one knows. I am content with what I know. I am not perturbed by what I don’t.”
“Maybe the old man is right,” they said to one another. So they said little. But down deep, they knew he was wrong. They knew it was a blessing. Twelve wild horses had returned. With a little work, the animals could be broken and trained and sold for much money.
The old man had a son, an only son. The young man began to break the wild horses. After a few days, he fell from one of the horses and broke both legs. Once again the villagers gathered around the old man and cast their judgments.
“You were right,” they said. “You proved you were right. The dozen horses were not a blessing. They were a curse. Your only son has broken both his legs, and now in your old age you have no one to help you. Now you are poorer than ever.”
The old man spoke again. “You people are obsessed with judging. Don’t go so far. Say only that my son broke his legs. Who knows if it is a blessing or a curse? No one knows. We only have a fragment. Life comes in fragments.”
It so happened that a few weeks later the country engaged in war against a neighboring country. All the young men of the village were required to join the army. Only the son of the old man was excluded, because he was injured. Once again the people gathered around the old man, crying and screaming because their sons had been taken. There was little chance that they would return. The enemy was strong, and the war would be a losing struggle. They would never see their sons again.
“You were right, old man,” They wept. “God knows you were right. This proves it. Your son’s accident was a blessing. His legs may be broken, but at least he is with you. Our sons are gone forever.”
The old man spoke again. “It is impossible to talk with you. You always draw conclusions. No one knows. Say only this. Your sons had to go to war, and mine did not. No one knows if it is a blessing or a curse. No one is wise enough to know. Only God knows.”
Rom 8:28-34
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
31 What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all-how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies.
The Woodcutter's Horse
Once there was an old man who lived in a tiny village. Although poor, he was envied by all, for he owned a beautiful white horse. Even the king coveted his treasure. A horse like this had never been seen before – such was its splendor, its majesty, its strength.
People offered fabulous prices for the steed, but the old man always refused. “This horse is not a horse to me,” he would tell them. “It is a person. How could you sell a person? He is a friend, not a possession. How could you sell a friend.” The man was poor and the temptation was great. But he never sold the horse.
One morning he found that the horse was not in his stable. All the village came to see him. “You old fool,” they scoffed, “we told you that someone would steal your horse. We warned you that you would be robbed. You are so poor. How could you ever protect such a valuable animal? It would have been better to have sold him. You could have gotten whatever price you wanted. No amount would have been to high. Now the horse is gone and you’ve been cursed with misfortune.”
The old man responded, “Don’t speak too quickly. Say only that the horse is not in the stable. That is all we know; the rest is judgment. If I’ve been cursed or not, how can you know? How can you judge?”
The people contested, “Don’t make us out to be fools! We may not be philosophers, but great philosophy is not needed. The simple fact that your horse is gone is a curse.”
The old man spoke again. “All I know is that the stable is empty, and the horse is gone. The rest I don’t know. Whether it be a curse or a blessing, I can’t say. All we can see is a fragment. Who can say what will come next?”
The people of the village laughed. They thought that the man was crazy. They had always thought he was a fool; if he wasn’t, he would have sold the horse and lived off the money. But instead, he was a poor woodcutter, and old man still cutting firewood and dragging it out of the forest and selling it. He lived hand to mouth in the misery of poverty. Now he had proven that he was, indeed, a fool.
After fifteen days, the horse returned. He hadn’t been stolen; he had run away into the forest. Not only had he returned, he had brought a dozen wild horses with him. Once again, the village people gathered around the woodcutter and spoke. “Old man, you were right and we were wrong. What we thought was a curse was a blessing. Please forgive us.”
The man responded, “Once again, you go too far. Say only that the horse is back. State only that a dozen horses returned with him, but don’t judge. How do you know if this is a blessing or not? You see only a fragment. Unless you know the whole story, how can you judge? You read only one page of a book. Can you judge the whole book? You read only one word of one phrase. Can you understand the entire phrase?”
“Life is so vast, yet you judge all of life with one page or one word. All you have is one fragment! Don’t say that this is a blessing. No one knows. I am content with what I know. I am not perturbed by what I don’t.”
“Maybe the old man is right,” they said to one another. So they said little. But down deep, they knew he was wrong. They knew it was a blessing. Twelve wild horses had returned. With a little work, the animals could be broken and trained and sold for much money.
The old man had a son, an only son. The young man began to break the wild horses. After a few days, he fell from one of the horses and broke both legs. Once again the villagers gathered around the old man and cast their judgments.
“You were right,” they said. “You proved you were right. The dozen horses were not a blessing. They were a curse. Your only son has broken both his legs, and now in your old age you have no one to help you. Now you are poorer than ever.”
The old man spoke again. “You people are obsessed with judging. Don’t go so far. Say only that my son broke his legs. Who knows if it is a blessing or a curse? No one knows. We only have a fragment. Life comes in fragments.”
It so happened that a few weeks later the country engaged in war against a neighboring country. All the young men of the village were required to join the army. Only the son of the old man was excluded, because he was injured. Once again the people gathered around the old man, crying and screaming because their sons had been taken. There was little chance that they would return. The enemy was strong, and the war would be a losing struggle. They would never see their sons again.
“You were right, old man,” They wept. “God knows you were right. This proves it. Your son’s accident was a blessing. His legs may be broken, but at least he is with you. Our sons are gone forever.”
The old man spoke again. “It is impossible to talk with you. You always draw conclusions. No one knows. Say only this. Your sons had to go to war, and mine did not. No one knows if it is a blessing or a curse. No one is wise enough to know. Only God knows.”
Rom 8:28-34
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
31 What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all-how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies.
Eternal Insecurity
My flesh screams, "I am NOT okay!" and it prattles on a list of failures and fears to prove its point. My timid soul asks, "Am I okay?" I know, my earlier poem promised that I wouldn't ask this any more, but I'm not soaked with okayness yet.
It's the Bible that kills me on this. Scriptures that say things like "I would that you were hot or cold, but you are lukewarm and I'm about to vomit you up," or "You are not the ones that shrink back and are destroyed (ha!)..." or any number of other verses that present the importance of standing in faith--which I suck at. I'm not talking about all the religious things I'm bad at. It doesn't really bug me that I don't pray the way I think others might say I should, or that we don't punch a clock at a church. I don't feel guilty for not singing worship songs, or volunteering at the soup kitchen or serving in the nursery somewhere. What slays me is my disobedience to the Spirit within me that says "Engage with your kids." It isn't like I never obey that voice--I do. But I know that my obedience is so slight and my failure is so great.
I'll have to finish this later. Kids calling.
It's the Bible that kills me on this. Scriptures that say things like "I would that you were hot or cold, but you are lukewarm and I'm about to vomit you up," or "You are not the ones that shrink back and are destroyed (ha!)..." or any number of other verses that present the importance of standing in faith--which I suck at. I'm not talking about all the religious things I'm bad at. It doesn't really bug me that I don't pray the way I think others might say I should, or that we don't punch a clock at a church. I don't feel guilty for not singing worship songs, or volunteering at the soup kitchen or serving in the nursery somewhere. What slays me is my disobedience to the Spirit within me that says "Engage with your kids." It isn't like I never obey that voice--I do. But I know that my obedience is so slight and my failure is so great.
I'll have to finish this later. Kids calling.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Let's Go to the Potluck!
"I am only asking you to go to a potluck, not marry these people!"
"I have nothing in common with them! It isn't like I haven't tried! I spent a year trying to connect with them. We don't mean the same things by what we say. We aren't pursuing the same gospel."
"How can you say that? The same God is that is leading you is also leading them. They are saved--the Holy Spirit is in them, leading them into all truth. Yes, they are out to lunch on some points. Are you saying that you aren't?"
"I'm sure I have some things wrong. But I don't want to lose the good that I do have by soaking in what I know isn't true. And I absolutely do not want my kids taught the "try harder" gospel!"
"I don't want that either. But couldn't you just spend one day every six months talking with someone about what God is saying to them, and share what's going on in your walk and be connected a bit on what you do share in common? I feel so edified when I find that people who have very different views are being led in the same things as I am by God."
"We are different in that way. I wish I could feel that too. But I don't. I feel sad. Deeply, deeply sad that the good news that is so essential isn't preached or lived or embraced there! I know that it brings bondage and destruction to believe what they preach. I don't want to be there for the hurt that it will cause."
"Well that's very loving! 'You're bound for pain so I don't want to go with you!' I know it makes a difference when we speak the truth to each other. Even people that argue with you about the extent of the Grace of God are introduced to an iota of doubt by your saying you are so forgiven that you needn't ask for more forgiveness. They may not be pursuaded, but they are at least aware of the question! It takes time! You can't expect to walk in the door and have people change their schema the first time it is discussed!"
"I don't. I don't want to change anyone's schema. I just want fellowship. And encouragement. And they don't believe what I believe. They are trying to build faith by whipping up emotion and it is doomed."
"You are overstating the separation. And it becomes wider in your absence. You don't miss talking with Mike, or Dan, or Earl?"
"I do like talking with those guys, but they really don't understand what I'm talking about. I am a lot of work for them. I disrupt what they are doing. It is more merciful for me to not rock their boats."
"Sometimes it is more loving to rock a person's boat than to leave them in calm water."
"That's true--but only if God tells you to rock it. God didn't tell me to rock their boat."
"You are impossible. I just want to go to the potluck, sing songs and talk with people."
"I don't care if I never sing another worship song again."
"How can you say that? I love to sing. I need the bolstering of my faith that meditating on the truth brings."
"Now, see what I mean? You are using the word faith as if it was a feeling."
"Be that as it may, singing about the goodness and power of God helps me believe that it is true and makes me more likely to live like it is. And that IS faith--living like God is all that."
"Well, it doesn't do that for me, and I don't trust my heart to be led by people who obviously believe things that are false. I am not interested in entering into an altered state of consciousness at their mercy."
"I just imagine a way in which the words could be true. It works for me."
"That's great for you--but what about your kids? We have a responsiblity to raise our kids in faith. And the road of emotionalism and law will baptize them into flesh and self effort, not trusting God."
"I still want to go to the potluck."
"I have nothing in common with them! It isn't like I haven't tried! I spent a year trying to connect with them. We don't mean the same things by what we say. We aren't pursuing the same gospel."
"How can you say that? The same God is that is leading you is also leading them. They are saved--the Holy Spirit is in them, leading them into all truth. Yes, they are out to lunch on some points. Are you saying that you aren't?"
"I'm sure I have some things wrong. But I don't want to lose the good that I do have by soaking in what I know isn't true. And I absolutely do not want my kids taught the "try harder" gospel!"
"I don't want that either. But couldn't you just spend one day every six months talking with someone about what God is saying to them, and share what's going on in your walk and be connected a bit on what you do share in common? I feel so edified when I find that people who have very different views are being led in the same things as I am by God."
"We are different in that way. I wish I could feel that too. But I don't. I feel sad. Deeply, deeply sad that the good news that is so essential isn't preached or lived or embraced there! I know that it brings bondage and destruction to believe what they preach. I don't want to be there for the hurt that it will cause."
"Well that's very loving! 'You're bound for pain so I don't want to go with you!' I know it makes a difference when we speak the truth to each other. Even people that argue with you about the extent of the Grace of God are introduced to an iota of doubt by your saying you are so forgiven that you needn't ask for more forgiveness. They may not be pursuaded, but they are at least aware of the question! It takes time! You can't expect to walk in the door and have people change their schema the first time it is discussed!"
"I don't. I don't want to change anyone's schema. I just want fellowship. And encouragement. And they don't believe what I believe. They are trying to build faith by whipping up emotion and it is doomed."
"You are overstating the separation. And it becomes wider in your absence. You don't miss talking with Mike, or Dan, or Earl?"
"I do like talking with those guys, but they really don't understand what I'm talking about. I am a lot of work for them. I disrupt what they are doing. It is more merciful for me to not rock their boats."
"Sometimes it is more loving to rock a person's boat than to leave them in calm water."
"That's true--but only if God tells you to rock it. God didn't tell me to rock their boat."
"You are impossible. I just want to go to the potluck, sing songs and talk with people."
"I don't care if I never sing another worship song again."
"How can you say that? I love to sing. I need the bolstering of my faith that meditating on the truth brings."
"Now, see what I mean? You are using the word faith as if it was a feeling."
"Be that as it may, singing about the goodness and power of God helps me believe that it is true and makes me more likely to live like it is. And that IS faith--living like God is all that."
"Well, it doesn't do that for me, and I don't trust my heart to be led by people who obviously believe things that are false. I am not interested in entering into an altered state of consciousness at their mercy."
"I just imagine a way in which the words could be true. It works for me."
"That's great for you--but what about your kids? We have a responsiblity to raise our kids in faith. And the road of emotionalism and law will baptize them into flesh and self effort, not trusting God."
"I still want to go to the potluck."
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Life is like a walk to Mt. Doom
We just finished watching all of LOTR with the older kids. It was the first time I'd watched the whole thing. I don't like violent movies, and I get figetty during extended action scenes. But I read the trilogy to the kids a couple years ago, and we have all been passionate LOTR afficionados ever since.
The whole LOTR thing is very dear to my heart. Here's a community of people living at the end of their age. And Frodo says something like "I wish this wasn't my life. I wish it hadn't come to this." And Gandalf answers that we don't get a choice about the times we live in, we just get to decide what to do with our time. I feel the twist of Frodo's lament, and the wisdom and peace of Gandalf's answer. Let's live in the Now and Love What Is.
I am afraid of Frodo's destiny though: "We saved the Shire, but not for me." When he reached the Far Country, did the sword of the nazgul cease to pain him? Will the agony of sin follow us beyond this chapter of the story? How is it that hell doesn't taint heaven?
The whole LOTR thing is very dear to my heart. Here's a community of people living at the end of their age. And Frodo says something like "I wish this wasn't my life. I wish it hadn't come to this." And Gandalf answers that we don't get a choice about the times we live in, we just get to decide what to do with our time. I feel the twist of Frodo's lament, and the wisdom and peace of Gandalf's answer. Let's live in the Now and Love What Is.
I am afraid of Frodo's destiny though: "We saved the Shire, but not for me." When he reached the Far Country, did the sword of the nazgul cease to pain him? Will the agony of sin follow us beyond this chapter of the story? How is it that hell doesn't taint heaven?
Friday, September 21, 2007
Does this Theology make me look fat?
I am still confronted with questions of whether I am big or small in this God thing. Here are some of the implications, as I see it:
If I am Big then...
My prayers/devotion/actions or lack thereof can alter God's actions
God thinks about me all the time and finds me irresistable
If I am Small then...
God will do with me and through me as He wants, and even my conformity to this is His act
God thinks about me all the time because He is good, big, and even pays attention to tiny things
For those of you more in the Big camp, I have a question. How do you deal with the unbelievable pressure of controlling what God does? Doesn't that make you bigger than him?
For those in the Small camp, How do you avoid passivity? If God is just going to do what he's going to do, why should I pursue him? Why pray?
If I am Big then...
My prayers/devotion/actions or lack thereof can alter God's actions
God thinks about me all the time and finds me irresistable
If I am Small then...
God will do with me and through me as He wants, and even my conformity to this is His act
God thinks about me all the time because He is good, big, and even pays attention to tiny things
For those of you more in the Big camp, I have a question. How do you deal with the unbelievable pressure of controlling what God does? Doesn't that make you bigger than him?
For those in the Small camp, How do you avoid passivity? If God is just going to do what he's going to do, why should I pursue him? Why pray?
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Truth about Being One
A friend recently made the case that even though he didn't feel like he and his wife were one, that they were one in the eyes of God. He believed that God no longer saw them as two people, but one. I am not sure what this can mean. At the resurrection, they will be awarded the same body to share, with a personality that is an amalgamation of the two? Sounds frightening. The two people have two different bodies, personalities, wills, needs, callings, roles, and desires. They have two separate lives, if one dies they do not both die. In short, they remain "Two" for all practical purposes. I am not sure what it would profit to imagine this is not so. Perhaps it serves to reinforce the unacceptability of divorce--very pragmatic, but is it based in truth?
The answer to the nature of oneness between man and wife matters for all of us, because it is a metaphor for our oneness with God. In what way are a husband and wife one that mirrors Christ's relationship with the church? Answer that, and I think you will find volumes about what it means to be indwelt by the Holy Spirit and the delight of obedience.
The answer to the nature of oneness between man and wife matters for all of us, because it is a metaphor for our oneness with God. In what way are a husband and wife one that mirrors Christ's relationship with the church? Answer that, and I think you will find volumes about what it means to be indwelt by the Holy Spirit and the delight of obedience.
I Don't Have To
A partial list of things I don’t have to do:
Keep up with the culture
Go to church
Fix my friends
Say something
Shave my toes
Make my children perfect
Apologize for the color of my hair
Make my husband happy
Write in my blog everyday forever
Explain why
Strangle my brother in law
Handle tomorrow today
Teach grammar this year
Win
Scrapbook
Get along with everybody
Have a “Ministry”
Know
Sing well before I sing with all my heart
1 Cor 6:12-13"Everything is permissible for me"-but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"-but I will not be mastered by anything.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
But it IS the End of the World!
Perhaps the hardest thing I have to deal with in my life is the expectation that we are at the zenith of our earthly lives. It won't get any better than this, and will likely get very, very much worse before it gets blissfully better. However, I don't understand the blissfully better very well, and have a very graphic vision of the worse.
What's worse, I have children that I must prepare for their lives in this. I can't honestly paint beautiful pictures for them about their future, nor do I dare paint the horror that could also be. All I can do is assure them of the goodness of the God we serve, and the awesome future we will share at the return of Christ. And teach them what they need to walk in faith, no matter what.
Here is a snip of something my daughter wrote for a school assignment:
What if the sun exploded? Well lets say that it did explode. So one day you were walking along. Then a few people come running up the street yelling that the time has come. You are puzzled for a minute but the you realize it was what you had all been waiting for for years. The death of the sun.
Now, I don't think Revelation says the sun will explode and I don't think that particular fear is hanging about her head. However, this sense of impending doom is a part of her life, and I hate, HATE, HATE that above all. I hate it when people in my husband's confidence talk about prophecy in front of her, I hate it when they leave printouts about the anti-Christ around the house, and I hate the gun she got for her birthday. I'd like to spit "doom" out permanently and raise my children with an honest optimism instead of this evasive "Don't ask about that" stance.
And yet there can be no resurrection without death. There can be no birth without labor. There can be no restoration without destruction. I would just like my epidural now, thank you very much.
What's worse, I have children that I must prepare for their lives in this. I can't honestly paint beautiful pictures for them about their future, nor do I dare paint the horror that could also be. All I can do is assure them of the goodness of the God we serve, and the awesome future we will share at the return of Christ. And teach them what they need to walk in faith, no matter what.
Here is a snip of something my daughter wrote for a school assignment:
What if the sun exploded? Well lets say that it did explode. So one day you were walking along. Then a few people come running up the street yelling that the time has come. You are puzzled for a minute but the you realize it was what you had all been waiting for for years. The death of the sun.
Now, I don't think Revelation says the sun will explode and I don't think that particular fear is hanging about her head. However, this sense of impending doom is a part of her life, and I hate, HATE, HATE that above all. I hate it when people in my husband's confidence talk about prophecy in front of her, I hate it when they leave printouts about the anti-Christ around the house, and I hate the gun she got for her birthday. I'd like to spit "doom" out permanently and raise my children with an honest optimism instead of this evasive "Don't ask about that" stance.
And yet there can be no resurrection without death. There can be no birth without labor. There can be no restoration without destruction. I would just like my epidural now, thank you very much.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Earth or Heaven?
If heaven is our home, why don't the meek get to come? Are the persecuted and the meek going two different places?
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. ....Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. ....Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
WHAT Joy?
- Hebrews 12:2-3
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
This weekend, our extended family gathered for a little campout at the grandparent’s house. Sitting around the campfire, I posed a question that comes from that verse up there. “What was the joy that inspired Jesus to endure the cross?” This wasn’t just idle curiosity or an invitation to an intellectual exercise to me. As my writings here have revealed, I need to know why I should endure whatever comes in the future, and more immediately, deny myself now. I think Jesus walked in the hope that he intends us to walk in also, so it matters WHY he did what he did.
The group was comprised of an eclectic sampling of older and younger, conservative and charismatic, strong in faith and some who feel far from God. Here are some of the answers, paraphrased:
“I think we are the joy that Jesus was seeking. I don’t really know any Biblical support for that, but that’s my impression.”
“He was looking forward to the Bride. He desired the intimacy of restored relationship with his people.”
“It was for glory that Jesus obeyed his Father and went to the cross. He didn’t do it because he felt like it, but because his Father said to. Jesus bought a Kingdom with his blood.”
“He was inspired by looking forward to making all things whole and complete. His death and resurrection laid the foundation for creation to be healed and restored. His joy is the perfection of all things.”
Then Great Grandpa said he thought that Jesus expressed his motivation well in his prayer in John 14:
[I pray that] all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.
"Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world.
"Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them."
This blows me away. Aspects of all the motivations mentioned were there, and at least one more as well.
First of all, Glory. Since that was kind of an empty word to me, I went to my study tools to see what I could find. I was not surprised to see glory described as a bright shininess or overwhelming power or honor. I was more intrigued by the primary meaning, though, which went back to the root of “to seem” or to make apparent. The glory of Christ was that the Father’s BEING, His Essence, was IN Him (Col 1:19). The Glory of God is not just an ethereal shining, but it is everything that He truly is: Good, Loving, Strong, Noble, Just, Merciful, Eternal, Powerful, etc. And Christ shares his glory with us: not just his power or right to rule, or the glow of righteousness, but the I AM that was within him is now IN us! The Essential God—the “I AM that I AM” has been shared with us, planted in us: “For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority.”(Col 2:9-10)
The cross of Christ was a benevolent act, to give us something we lacked. And check out what it is: “I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one.” He went through this to share his being so that we could have fellowship with one another and with him? It must be really important to God, this ability to belong to one another and live in peace and connectedness. The Kingdom of God that Christ establishes must be in essence one of unity of believers, because He is Love.
Some people have emphasized the aspect of the glory of God that is his authority, power, and justice. This is accurate as far it goes. However, the Glory of God that is put in us is much, much more. It is the very Holy Spirit in us, the indwelling, and it is primarily given for relational purposes: that we may be one with one another, and with God, sharing in His very nature, in ALL its fullness.
Col 2:9-15
For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, 10 and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority. 11 In him you were also circumcised, in the putting off of the sinful nature, not with a circumcision done by the hands of men but with the circumcision done by Christ, 12 having been buried with him in baptism and raised with him through your faith in the power of God, who raised him from the dead.
13 When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, 14 having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Pilgrim's Progress
An amazing section of Pilgrim's Progress (John Bunyan) A man named Christian is comparing notes on the journey of faith with a man named Faithful:
FAITH. But, good brother, hear me out. So soon as the man overtook me, he was but a word and a blow, for down he knocked me, and laid me for dead. But when I was a little come to myself again, I asked him wherefore he served me so. He said, because of my secret inclining to Adam the First; and with that he struck me another deadly blow on the breast, and beat me down backward; so I lay at his foot as dead as before. So, when I came to myself again, I cried him mercy; but he said, I know not how to show mercy; and with that he knocked me down again. He had doubtless made an end of me, but that one came by, and bid him forbear.
CHR. Who was that that bid him forbear?
FAITH. I did not know him at first, but as he went by, I perceived the holes in his hands and in his side; then I concluded that he was our Lord. So I went up the hill.
{178} CHR. That man that overtook you was Moses. He spareth none, neither knoweth he how to show mercy to those that transgress his law.
FAITH. I know it very well; it was not the first time that he has met with me. It was he that came to me when I dwelt securely at home, and that told me he would burn my house over my head if I stayed there.
We must take refuge in Christ. The law will kill us surely. It is good for telling us of the coming flames, but we must not walk in the way of the law, or it must kill us because it is good and holy and our flesh is not. This section is so poignant and vivid to me, because it assures me that I didn't make up my view of grace from recent bible trends, but that for hundreds of years, the gospel has been apparent and preached.
FAITH. But, good brother, hear me out. So soon as the man overtook me, he was but a word and a blow, for down he knocked me, and laid me for dead. But when I was a little come to myself again, I asked him wherefore he served me so. He said, because of my secret inclining to Adam the First; and with that he struck me another deadly blow on the breast, and beat me down backward; so I lay at his foot as dead as before. So, when I came to myself again, I cried him mercy; but he said, I know not how to show mercy; and with that he knocked me down again. He had doubtless made an end of me, but that one came by, and bid him forbear.
CHR. Who was that that bid him forbear?
FAITH. I did not know him at first, but as he went by, I perceived the holes in his hands and in his side; then I concluded that he was our Lord. So I went up the hill.
{178} CHR. That man that overtook you was Moses. He spareth none, neither knoweth he how to show mercy to those that transgress his law.
FAITH. I know it very well; it was not the first time that he has met with me. It was he that came to me when I dwelt securely at home, and that told me he would burn my house over my head if I stayed there.
We must take refuge in Christ. The law will kill us surely. It is good for telling us of the coming flames, but we must not walk in the way of the law, or it must kill us because it is good and holy and our flesh is not. This section is so poignant and vivid to me, because it assures me that I didn't make up my view of grace from recent bible trends, but that for hundreds of years, the gospel has been apparent and preached.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Jilted Lover or Wrathful Diety?
So, I'm listening to this sermon, and the preacher is telling me that God is yearning to have me come to Him, for me to be close to Him. That His heart is stretched with reaching for me, and faint with love.
Hmm, I think. Well, here's the book of Hosea, where God tells this guy to go take an unfaithful wife so that his life can be a picture of God's faithfulness to Israel. Then he goes on for chapters about how God was gentle and close, and his people wandered off and forgot him. Does he pursue with outstretched hand like a jilted lover? No, his response is initially one of wrathful destruction painted in horrible, violent terms. "You have sinned against me vilely, and I will expose you to shame," he seems to say. Then, he turns and shows compassion to the torn and defiled adulteress. He does not seem to be a God that can't bring himself to fling the unfaithful from him. He's not so enamored as all that. Yet neither is he without compassion and he doesn't pour out wrath forever. He comes with restoration after destruction--it really is a tale of resurrection to a higher life.
I am too afraid of the tearing God, and don't really understand the healing God.
I never used to struggle with these things. I used to be able to blithely say, "Oh, yes, whatever happens it is God's best for us, whatever his reasons, I'm sure He is Good." Now, that is a much harder truth to embrace. But it is no less true.
Hmm, I think. Well, here's the book of Hosea, where God tells this guy to go take an unfaithful wife so that his life can be a picture of God's faithfulness to Israel. Then he goes on for chapters about how God was gentle and close, and his people wandered off and forgot him. Does he pursue with outstretched hand like a jilted lover? No, his response is initially one of wrathful destruction painted in horrible, violent terms. "You have sinned against me vilely, and I will expose you to shame," he seems to say. Then, he turns and shows compassion to the torn and defiled adulteress. He does not seem to be a God that can't bring himself to fling the unfaithful from him. He's not so enamored as all that. Yet neither is he without compassion and he doesn't pour out wrath forever. He comes with restoration after destruction--it really is a tale of resurrection to a higher life.
I am too afraid of the tearing God, and don't really understand the healing God.
I never used to struggle with these things. I used to be able to blithely say, "Oh, yes, whatever happens it is God's best for us, whatever his reasons, I'm sure He is Good." Now, that is a much harder truth to embrace. But it is no less true.
Summing up John
This trip through the book of John has been exhilarating. I guess when I've read the gospels in the past, I've had all the other voices mixed in my head. I haven't *just* heard what the author was saying, but rather had my perception colored by what I know from sermons and reading. I lost the voice of the author in the cacophony.
But I intentionally read the account this time with my kids, who had never heard the whole story together like this, and I heard it with virgin ears. I got to know John, who so obviously bore great affection for Jesus and lived within his circle, yet worshipped Christ Jesus as God. I didn't realize how Jesus came across to John as always talking about his dependence on and submission to the Father. John saw Jesus as noble and self-contained (but that isn't quite the right word.)
I probably shouldn't have pointed out to my kids how Jesus broke the law. How will I ever get them to be good AWANA kids? ;-) Jesus did break the law, and he violated biblical principles. I hope the WWJD people never read John, or they'll be recommending providing alcohol to drunk people, sassing authorities, being intentionally offensive and obscure, flouting religious and social convention, disrupting church fundraising projects, and consorting with bad company. And they'll end up getting themselves killed when they could have just spoken more wisely and been free. The fact is, Jesus didn't live by the rules, he lived by the Spirit, and he never sinned once in spite of all the things that he did that we could not logically recommend. I do want my children to know how important it is to learn the voice of the Father and obey it. Jesus knew his Father's voice, and heeded it. That is what he did that we must do also, and one reason why he had to go away to send the Spirit.
But I intentionally read the account this time with my kids, who had never heard the whole story together like this, and I heard it with virgin ears. I got to know John, who so obviously bore great affection for Jesus and lived within his circle, yet worshipped Christ Jesus as God. I didn't realize how Jesus came across to John as always talking about his dependence on and submission to the Father. John saw Jesus as noble and self-contained (but that isn't quite the right word.)
I probably shouldn't have pointed out to my kids how Jesus broke the law. How will I ever get them to be good AWANA kids? ;-) Jesus did break the law, and he violated biblical principles. I hope the WWJD people never read John, or they'll be recommending providing alcohol to drunk people, sassing authorities, being intentionally offensive and obscure, flouting religious and social convention, disrupting church fundraising projects, and consorting with bad company. And they'll end up getting themselves killed when they could have just spoken more wisely and been free. The fact is, Jesus didn't live by the rules, he lived by the Spirit, and he never sinned once in spite of all the things that he did that we could not logically recommend. I do want my children to know how important it is to learn the voice of the Father and obey it. Jesus knew his Father's voice, and heeded it. That is what he did that we must do also, and one reason why he had to go away to send the Spirit.
How to Walk
Gal 5:16-18 So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17 For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.
We are not under law, but under grace. We serve in the new way of the Spirit. In what way is it new? We are indwelt by God, a condition that we enter into by placing our faith in the finished work of Christ and continue in as we lay down our own will and submit to the leading of the Spirit. It's different because we don't look at a list of principles and try to do them, but respond rather to the Spirit. Sounds risky, doesn't it. How can I suggest that the Christian life is so subjective?
Really, it isn't that subjective. We have lists of behaviors and attitudes that indicate the shape of the Spirit's leading. He is the spirit of Love, of laying down one's life. That is the master key to discernment. But we are given more than that--we know that murderers, slanderers, and people who live vile lives are not walking in the spirit. We know that Spirit filled lives have real peace, patience, goodness--a wholesomeness. You don't end up breaking the law when you walk in the Spirit, but it is not because you are walking according to the Law.
However, when we decide to walk instead by "Biblical Principle" (read: law), we pick a verse out and ape it, put it on and call it righteousness. Take tithing, for example. We don't have any Levitical priests to support, yet this is preached in their memory, from Malacai. You *don't* see the admonition to bring throw a party in the Lord's presence with the tithe, a la Deuteronomy 14:23. We let working on the Sabbath slide, yet hang on to the rest of the 10 commandments. We chop out the mandate to stone adulterers, and select instead "No smoking." (Oh, wait, I can't find the chapter and verse for that one...) The thing is, Jesus and the apostles didn't chop up and dissect the law. Jesus referred to even the writings of Psalms as "Law." And he extended it even further, to the mind and heart--if you so much as break one bit of the moral code even in your heart, you have shattered the whole thing. You must be perfect. That is the way of the law, it cannot have mercy. It is completely different than the way of the Spirit.
The Spirit gives life, the law kills. The Spirit brings righteousness, the law stirs up sin. The law is independent and self-powered, the Spirit filled life is dependent, humble, and fully empowered by God. There is so much scriptural evidence against mixing these two covenants, I am astounded that so many speak of "balance'' in them. The law *kills*. Why do you want any of that? It leads to sin and death, and not righteousness, why mix with that? Are you really suggesting that the spirit that Jesus sent us is not enough? It raised him from the dead, but can't bring us to holiness? Baffling.
We are not under law, but under grace. We serve in the new way of the Spirit. In what way is it new? We are indwelt by God, a condition that we enter into by placing our faith in the finished work of Christ and continue in as we lay down our own will and submit to the leading of the Spirit. It's different because we don't look at a list of principles and try to do them, but respond rather to the Spirit. Sounds risky, doesn't it. How can I suggest that the Christian life is so subjective?
Really, it isn't that subjective. We have lists of behaviors and attitudes that indicate the shape of the Spirit's leading. He is the spirit of Love, of laying down one's life. That is the master key to discernment. But we are given more than that--we know that murderers, slanderers, and people who live vile lives are not walking in the spirit. We know that Spirit filled lives have real peace, patience, goodness--a wholesomeness. You don't end up breaking the law when you walk in the Spirit, but it is not because you are walking according to the Law.
However, when we decide to walk instead by "Biblical Principle" (read: law), we pick a verse out and ape it, put it on and call it righteousness. Take tithing, for example. We don't have any Levitical priests to support, yet this is preached in their memory, from Malacai. You *don't* see the admonition to bring throw a party in the Lord's presence with the tithe, a la Deuteronomy 14:23. We let working on the Sabbath slide, yet hang on to the rest of the 10 commandments. We chop out the mandate to stone adulterers, and select instead "No smoking." (Oh, wait, I can't find the chapter and verse for that one...) The thing is, Jesus and the apostles didn't chop up and dissect the law. Jesus referred to even the writings of Psalms as "Law." And he extended it even further, to the mind and heart--if you so much as break one bit of the moral code even in your heart, you have shattered the whole thing. You must be perfect. That is the way of the law, it cannot have mercy. It is completely different than the way of the Spirit.
The Spirit gives life, the law kills. The Spirit brings righteousness, the law stirs up sin. The law is independent and self-powered, the Spirit filled life is dependent, humble, and fully empowered by God. There is so much scriptural evidence against mixing these two covenants, I am astounded that so many speak of "balance'' in them. The law *kills*. Why do you want any of that? It leads to sin and death, and not righteousness, why mix with that? Are you really suggesting that the spirit that Jesus sent us is not enough? It raised him from the dead, but can't bring us to holiness? Baffling.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
The Naked God
I'm just finishing up reading the book of John with my kids. It has been a fantastic fresh look at who Jesus is and his relationship with the disciples.
A few days ago, Jesus was crucified. He didn't want to suffer and die, but what else could he do? It was his whole purpose for coming. They say that no one made images of the crucified Saviour until anyone who had seen an actual crucifiction had died. Our images are cleansed and made more palatable, easier to handle. Jesus Christ was beaten within an inch of his life, made fun of by morons, hung naked--naked! to die amongst the human refuse, desserted by the crowds that would have made him king. The only token of his true identity, Pilate's lame statement of faith, "The King of the Jews." He was tortured to death completely and finally. He was as dead as a Roman soldier could make him. Thomas thought he was so thoroughly killed that he scoffed that he'd have to put his fingers in the holes in his hands to believe the resurrection.
How could the Maker of Heaven and Earth, stand silent in a court of fools, and allow himself to be subjected to such abasement? Such pain, for an uncomprehending humanity? I can't even begin to understand. I find that I must look away. This is a fearsome God, a horrible twist. My heart squirms--if this is love, I want none of it. He could have stood up and ended it, but he understood something I don't. Though I can't bear it, I must know it, must know what he clung to when even the Father turned away.
I don't know how such thing ever became associated with Amway Christianity or Your Best Life Now. Jesus sure wasn't having his Best Life...but he looked beyond it.
Matt 16:24-26 "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 25 For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it." I do not know how to lose my life for Christ. I don't know how to stop wanting to save my life--my beautiful, precious life! With my kids, and my family, and the blue sky! I want to slam on the brakes and keep it! Before one more dies, before one more sickening revelation, I just want to make it stop and be My Birthday forever. How do I stop wanting that and lay down my life?
With Ransom on Perelandra, I reach for the "good that was..." How do I learn to live in the freefall?
This is so silly. I know how to do it. I do it now. I walk in the grace for today, the strength for the moment. I'd like a big storage unit of Manna, but it isn't served that way. Why? Because God loves me and He knows just what I need. I'd like to know my hope better.
A few days ago, Jesus was crucified. He didn't want to suffer and die, but what else could he do? It was his whole purpose for coming. They say that no one made images of the crucified Saviour until anyone who had seen an actual crucifiction had died. Our images are cleansed and made more palatable, easier to handle. Jesus Christ was beaten within an inch of his life, made fun of by morons, hung naked--naked! to die amongst the human refuse, desserted by the crowds that would have made him king. The only token of his true identity, Pilate's lame statement of faith, "The King of the Jews." He was tortured to death completely and finally. He was as dead as a Roman soldier could make him. Thomas thought he was so thoroughly killed that he scoffed that he'd have to put his fingers in the holes in his hands to believe the resurrection.
How could the Maker of Heaven and Earth, stand silent in a court of fools, and allow himself to be subjected to such abasement? Such pain, for an uncomprehending humanity? I can't even begin to understand. I find that I must look away. This is a fearsome God, a horrible twist. My heart squirms--if this is love, I want none of it. He could have stood up and ended it, but he understood something I don't. Though I can't bear it, I must know it, must know what he clung to when even the Father turned away.
I don't know how such thing ever became associated with Amway Christianity or Your Best Life Now. Jesus sure wasn't having his Best Life...but he looked beyond it.
Matt 16:24-26 "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 25 For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it." I do not know how to lose my life for Christ. I don't know how to stop wanting to save my life--my beautiful, precious life! With my kids, and my family, and the blue sky! I want to slam on the brakes and keep it! Before one more dies, before one more sickening revelation, I just want to make it stop and be My Birthday forever. How do I stop wanting that and lay down my life?
With Ransom on Perelandra, I reach for the "good that was..." How do I learn to live in the freefall?
This is so silly. I know how to do it. I do it now. I walk in the grace for today, the strength for the moment. I'd like a big storage unit of Manna, but it isn't served that way. Why? Because God loves me and He knows just what I need. I'd like to know my hope better.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Drawing in a Breath
I am discovering a beautiful thing right now, and this blog writing has been a part of it. I am sorry if this writing doesn’t speak clearly or is contradictory or is way too long, but it is the imperfection of it that is allowing my soul to breath in the life of God. I am just going to give what I have, a partial understanding in a childish heart, and I’m going to give it with abandon, because I’m okay. I need to hash these thoughts through, and this is how I was made to do it. Maybe the process can help someone else understand something better, maybe it won’t. If it doesn’t, it is still doing me a world of good.
I am accepted by the Father and given an irrevocable name. I will persevere and lay hold of my salvation. I am one of a web of Called Out Ones, and I belong. Mike, if you’re out there, I just listened to your sermon on the Indwelling vs. the Incarnation, and I receive that word from the Father that Christ is my head and He alone will lead me. I am walking in freedom and joy as I awkwardly give—in coaching the lego team, in serving my husband, in shepherding my kids, in writing rambling blog entries, in preparing to teach silly classes on paper crafts and birds, preparing for a camping trip that I could have had a bad attitude about, having friends over in my lower class home. I feel His pleasure in it.
I am discovering that I have “everything I need for life and godliness.” My heart has, in the past, turned to wanting. It would begin a sentence, “I wish….we had a church/more money/could go to Hawaii/were born with different color hair, etc.” The conviction in my husband’s heart that the Day of the Lord is coming soon to end all normal life functions, pretty much made all those wishes totally irrelevant. It took away the option of getting terribly wrapped up in preparing for my kids’ college, or redecorating, or going on a luxurious vacation, or crafting the ultimate business or ministry. So, life has been very hard without the draw forward. But I am slowly grasping the joy of the now, and the eternal hope of the future. When we realize that God is close to the broken hearted, there is no danger in having your heart broken, because the Comforter is greater than all.
Because of the Spirit, we have forever. I may only get started learning to draw now, but I will have all eternity to practice and seek mentors and find beautiful subjects. I don’t have to worry that relationships aren’t progressing as fast as I’d like, because I will have forever to get to know and enjoy my brothers and sisters in Christ. I don’t have to despise the day of small beginnings. I can step down a road, and if it is cut short now, I will have a chance to pick it up later.
I find that my wishes are silly. I wish we had a church. Yet, here around me are a great cloud of believers that support, know, and love me, as well as any cohesive church ever did. I wish I had something to offer, but I can offer the things that don't seem like much to me (because they are what I do naturally) and they are something to someone else. Go figure! Praise the Author of the Story!
Heb 10:14 ...by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy.
Let's hear it for the Now and the Not Yet of our hope!
I am accepted by the Father and given an irrevocable name. I will persevere and lay hold of my salvation. I am one of a web of Called Out Ones, and I belong. Mike, if you’re out there, I just listened to your sermon on the Indwelling vs. the Incarnation, and I receive that word from the Father that Christ is my head and He alone will lead me. I am walking in freedom and joy as I awkwardly give—in coaching the lego team, in serving my husband, in shepherding my kids, in writing rambling blog entries, in preparing to teach silly classes on paper crafts and birds, preparing for a camping trip that I could have had a bad attitude about, having friends over in my lower class home. I feel His pleasure in it.
I am discovering that I have “everything I need for life and godliness.” My heart has, in the past, turned to wanting. It would begin a sentence, “I wish….we had a church/more money/could go to Hawaii/were born with different color hair, etc.” The conviction in my husband’s heart that the Day of the Lord is coming soon to end all normal life functions, pretty much made all those wishes totally irrelevant. It took away the option of getting terribly wrapped up in preparing for my kids’ college, or redecorating, or going on a luxurious vacation, or crafting the ultimate business or ministry. So, life has been very hard without the draw forward. But I am slowly grasping the joy of the now, and the eternal hope of the future. When we realize that God is close to the broken hearted, there is no danger in having your heart broken, because the Comforter is greater than all.
Because of the Spirit, we have forever. I may only get started learning to draw now, but I will have all eternity to practice and seek mentors and find beautiful subjects. I don’t have to worry that relationships aren’t progressing as fast as I’d like, because I will have forever to get to know and enjoy my brothers and sisters in Christ. I don’t have to despise the day of small beginnings. I can step down a road, and if it is cut short now, I will have a chance to pick it up later.
I find that my wishes are silly. I wish we had a church. Yet, here around me are a great cloud of believers that support, know, and love me, as well as any cohesive church ever did. I wish I had something to offer, but I can offer the things that don't seem like much to me (because they are what I do naturally) and they are something to someone else. Go figure! Praise the Author of the Story!
Heb 10:14 ...by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy.
Let's hear it for the Now and the Not Yet of our hope!
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Considering Authority
One objection to leaving the church that Jacobsen did not discuss is the idea that not attending church is unsubmissive to leadership. I've been pondering this today, and looking at what the Bible has to say about it.
We are to select leaders of a certain kind: they should serve like Christ did, laying down their lives, with sincere love for the sheep; able to teach; their personal life should be in order--kids following God and not unruly, just one temperate wife who doesn't gossip, respected by outsiders, and not greedy, holding on to the core truth of the faith.
As these mature believers work among us, we are to respect and love them, valuing their service. We are to submit to them, obey what they say.
I can't find any evidence for the "covering" theory put forth by some teachers that say that the devil (or even God) will get you if aren't under the authority of a pastor or husband, so I won't worry about that (unless someone can show me scripture to the contrary). I guess as I read this, it looks very relational to me: if someone is laying down their life and giving you the benefit of their maturity and wisdom, treat them with the honor due them and listen to them. I can't really find how what our family has done in leaving church is unsubmissive.
The submission issue is very difficult. My husband was recently asked, "Do you think you know better than any one else what is true?" The implication was, "How arrogant to think for yourself!" Yet I can't fathom yielding the responsibility to search out truth. Why should I take another person's word for something? If it doesn't stand up to the Bible, if the Holy Spirit says it isn't so, if logic agrees that the concept is false, why shall I accept instead my pastor's word? Is that unsubmissive? Perhaps we have erred in "rebuking an older man harshly" and that is the disrespect we have made. Lord, make my heart truly humble and gentle and not just afraid of man.
We are to select leaders of a certain kind: they should serve like Christ did, laying down their lives, with sincere love for the sheep; able to teach; their personal life should be in order--kids following God and not unruly, just one temperate wife who doesn't gossip, respected by outsiders, and not greedy, holding on to the core truth of the faith.
As these mature believers work among us, we are to respect and love them, valuing their service. We are to submit to them, obey what they say.
I can't find any evidence for the "covering" theory put forth by some teachers that say that the devil (or even God) will get you if aren't under the authority of a pastor or husband, so I won't worry about that (unless someone can show me scripture to the contrary). I guess as I read this, it looks very relational to me: if someone is laying down their life and giving you the benefit of their maturity and wisdom, treat them with the honor due them and listen to them. I can't really find how what our family has done in leaving church is unsubmissive.
The submission issue is very difficult. My husband was recently asked, "Do you think you know better than any one else what is true?" The implication was, "How arrogant to think for yourself!" Yet I can't fathom yielding the responsibility to search out truth. Why should I take another person's word for something? If it doesn't stand up to the Bible, if the Holy Spirit says it isn't so, if logic agrees that the concept is false, why shall I accept instead my pastor's word? Is that unsubmissive? Perhaps we have erred in "rebuking an older man harshly" and that is the disrespect we have made. Lord, make my heart truly humble and gentle and not just afraid of man.
Refreshing Perspective
It is nice to know we aren't the only people on the planet that perceive the gospel the way we do:
http://www.gracewalk.org/pages.asp?pageid=48977
http://www.gracewalk.org/pages.asp?pageid=48977
Saturday, September 8, 2007
Fixing the Institution of "Church"
Mike responded to the "Why I don't go to church anymore" article with some very thoughtful and insightful comments. The main idea centered around the criticism that the author bailed instead of remaining in church and making it better.
Because we find ourself in the bailing position, I find I must defend it. ;-) To be part of the solution, you have to understand the problem AND have the right to address it. I can't go out to my car which is making a funny noise and fix the ball joint (or whatever!) because I don't understand the problem. I'm pretty much just left with a broken car. Some things about the broken church are like that. You go, the sermon sounds good, the music is nice, the people sing at the appropriate times and go through the appropriate motions...but Nobody's Home. The car just isn't going anywhere, and I don't know how to fix it. Staying in that car is silly and of no benefit to anyone.
The authority issue is even more important, though. I can't go to my neighbor's house and say, "Oh, your car is making a funny noise, let me fix that for you," and proceed unbidden to disassemble it and change parts. I can not go to the local church and begin telling people that their leaders are wrong about tithing. I don't have the right to do that. Yet that is a fundamental demonstation of a lack of understanding of the very reason Christ came, and it is an entry into something that will bring self reliance, sin and destruction. A very big broken thing, and it's not my place to fix it.
I think the institutional church is a profoundly broken thing in this phase of history--perhaps in all of history. Christ still moves and works there, but the structure itself thwarts growth. Contrast the experience of exploring your weaknesses and questions with your peers to doing so with your pastor. Especially if what you want to talk about and explore is what he is teaching--things he has already reached conclusions on, and informed you of. If my friend (MIKE!) has come to a conclusion that I don't share, there is no rub. We can keep talking and looking at the scripture and accept each other where we are, and share the goal of worshipping together in Spirit and in Truth. But if I am supposed to be following you, accepting what you say, then it really isn't okay if I don't see in the Bible what you see.
Once upon a time, we were part of a church that had a pastor that was an exceptional teacher. He could lay out a logical sermon like nobody's business. But, by his own testimony, God called him to *pastor* a *relational church.* In short, God was asking him to go beyond the transparency that he was very good with, to even loving people. Listening to them, spending time with them, sharing lives with them. This pastor wrestled and wrestled with God over this, sometimes declaring that God wanted him to engage in it and that he was committed to following, sometimes declaring that it just wasn't who he was and he wasn't going to do it. Which is how our struggles go, wouldn't you say?
The gentile church structure that we engage in totally messed this guy up, separating him from a support structure. As his traveling companions and co-ministers in Christ, we spoke the gentle word of the Father to him, encouraging him to trust and obey. That is our job in each other's lives. However, you cannot encourage your pastor to better love his congregation without a number of people being very mad at you for "touching the Lord's annointed." And of course it is messy, because we do hope that our pastors can be spiritual fathers to us, and it is a personal loss when they are not. But that aside, if we had nothing to gain from his obedience, it was still the will of God that he care for others.
Now, if we stay in relationship that is fettered with the heirarchical approach of traditional church organizations, is there any way to really be of benefit to this man? No, to call him to obey the voice of God is insubordination. It doesn't work because pride is involved, and expectations.
How can a structure that promotes and praises men when they do well encourage believers to mature by dying to themselves and becoming more abased? How in the world is a disciple to grasp "the last shall be first" when the greatest among us is not the servant of all? I hope I don't sound ungrateful to the hard work that preachers and pastors do, I have great admiration for their devotion. But I feel for them. The church machine runs the opposite way they are trying to go. They need to lead people into relationship: the form tends to isolate them from truly sharing their lives. They need to lead people into laying down their lives, but the form puts their name in lights and says wear the right suit.
Mike also points out that if you pull your hand from the hot stove and leave the building, sometimes the building bursts into flames and causes destruction. He encourages folks to stay in and be caring, concerned builders that would make the building sound. My feeling is often that the building is already in blazes and my emotions are not of calm concern but of alarm when I see what is happening in church. Hard to function helpfully in the burning building.
Because we find ourself in the bailing position, I find I must defend it. ;-) To be part of the solution, you have to understand the problem AND have the right to address it. I can't go out to my car which is making a funny noise and fix the ball joint (or whatever!) because I don't understand the problem. I'm pretty much just left with a broken car. Some things about the broken church are like that. You go, the sermon sounds good, the music is nice, the people sing at the appropriate times and go through the appropriate motions...but Nobody's Home. The car just isn't going anywhere, and I don't know how to fix it. Staying in that car is silly and of no benefit to anyone.
The authority issue is even more important, though. I can't go to my neighbor's house and say, "Oh, your car is making a funny noise, let me fix that for you," and proceed unbidden to disassemble it and change parts. I can not go to the local church and begin telling people that their leaders are wrong about tithing. I don't have the right to do that. Yet that is a fundamental demonstation of a lack of understanding of the very reason Christ came, and it is an entry into something that will bring self reliance, sin and destruction. A very big broken thing, and it's not my place to fix it.
I think the institutional church is a profoundly broken thing in this phase of history--perhaps in all of history. Christ still moves and works there, but the structure itself thwarts growth. Contrast the experience of exploring your weaknesses and questions with your peers to doing so with your pastor. Especially if what you want to talk about and explore is what he is teaching--things he has already reached conclusions on, and informed you of. If my friend (MIKE!) has come to a conclusion that I don't share, there is no rub. We can keep talking and looking at the scripture and accept each other where we are, and share the goal of worshipping together in Spirit and in Truth. But if I am supposed to be following you, accepting what you say, then it really isn't okay if I don't see in the Bible what you see.
Once upon a time, we were part of a church that had a pastor that was an exceptional teacher. He could lay out a logical sermon like nobody's business. But, by his own testimony, God called him to *pastor* a *relational church.* In short, God was asking him to go beyond the transparency that he was very good with, to even loving people. Listening to them, spending time with them, sharing lives with them. This pastor wrestled and wrestled with God over this, sometimes declaring that God wanted him to engage in it and that he was committed to following, sometimes declaring that it just wasn't who he was and he wasn't going to do it. Which is how our struggles go, wouldn't you say?
The gentile church structure that we engage in totally messed this guy up, separating him from a support structure. As his traveling companions and co-ministers in Christ, we spoke the gentle word of the Father to him, encouraging him to trust and obey. That is our job in each other's lives. However, you cannot encourage your pastor to better love his congregation without a number of people being very mad at you for "touching the Lord's annointed." And of course it is messy, because we do hope that our pastors can be spiritual fathers to us, and it is a personal loss when they are not. But that aside, if we had nothing to gain from his obedience, it was still the will of God that he care for others.
Now, if we stay in relationship that is fettered with the heirarchical approach of traditional church organizations, is there any way to really be of benefit to this man? No, to call him to obey the voice of God is insubordination. It doesn't work because pride is involved, and expectations.
How can a structure that promotes and praises men when they do well encourage believers to mature by dying to themselves and becoming more abased? How in the world is a disciple to grasp "the last shall be first" when the greatest among us is not the servant of all? I hope I don't sound ungrateful to the hard work that preachers and pastors do, I have great admiration for their devotion. But I feel for them. The church machine runs the opposite way they are trying to go. They need to lead people into relationship: the form tends to isolate them from truly sharing their lives. They need to lead people into laying down their lives, but the form puts their name in lights and says wear the right suit.
Mike also points out that if you pull your hand from the hot stove and leave the building, sometimes the building bursts into flames and causes destruction. He encourages folks to stay in and be caring, concerned builders that would make the building sound. My feeling is often that the building is already in blazes and my emotions are not of calm concern but of alarm when I see what is happening in church. Hard to function helpfully in the burning building.
Friday, September 7, 2007
Trust
I am thinking about attending a church class. Actually, it's the MTI class I ranted about previously. Why would I consider it? Because it addresses the foundations of faith, and I find that when I am confronted with perspectives that I don't share, it propels me into the Word to see if there is any substance to my view or the other. It makes me grow. What most gives me pause is the chance to share ministry time with others. (Well, that and swallowing my pride by participating with something I rejected!)
When I reflect on my time in that body, I find that lack of trust on my part was a huge barrier. I do not trust God in others--at least not THOSE others. So I just went back to the Bible for a quick look at "trust." I found a few key points:
*We aren't to trust in ourselves or personal strength.
*We aren't to judge now, because we don't see the motives of other's hearts.
* We are to trust wholly in God, who is able to give us Life at the resurrection or cast us into eternal death.
But I could find little on trusting others. It looks like we are to be wise, and not "cast our pearls before swine." Christ did not entrust himself to man, but held himself to God to be defined and informed by Him. In the last days when evil prevails, we are instructed in Micah to trust no one. But I don't think we are quite to that point of total depravity. I don't yet know anyone who has been betrayed to death by their children! And we are to be one just as the Father and the Son are one. I don't see how that can happen without a wealth of trust flowing both ways.
So, what do I think is going to happen if I trust my brothers and sisters? I think I will be misunderstood and that will make me feel like a freak. If I am real, people will get mad at me, because I argue with ideas they are attached to. I don't like that, it hurts. If I am vulnerable and ask for prayer, I will be counseled to do things I think are wrong--such as asking for forgiveness (I already got saved, and am forgiven--I would not insult Christ by implying that he didn't do a good enough job with my sin), or tithing so I can be blessed (law, flesh, selfishness...), or maybe the other person will attempt to cast out a demon (diagnosing that I'm a victim) when what I really need is to be called to repentence (to accept my responsibility). Arguing about theology and the foundations of our faith are not what I want to do when I am in need: I just want someone who understands the big picture to be beside me, hear my confession, pray for me. I have experienced ministry in the other situation. It feels like gravel in the mechanism. God still speaks and moves, though. Should I jump into that place because it is so exquisitely pulverizing?
My belief structure says that I don't get to decide what I'm going to do, because I'm not my own. If God tells me to go be a part of a Lutheran church, or Morman Church, or Baptist or any other, I am to go do it. But if he says not, then I may not. What I hear from God on this is so much dial tone. I have in the past felt like I was emphatically NOT to be going to church. But how then do we participate in the give/take of the body and introduce our children to Christian community, such an essential of our faith?
To go to church would mean that I could trust God in others. I would have to relax and figure, "Oh well, this all seems like an affront to the Most High to me, but I guess I'll go along with it and see what happens." Humility or insanity, I just don't know.
When I reflect on my time in that body, I find that lack of trust on my part was a huge barrier. I do not trust God in others--at least not THOSE others. So I just went back to the Bible for a quick look at "trust." I found a few key points:
*We aren't to trust in ourselves or personal strength.
*We aren't to judge now, because we don't see the motives of other's hearts.
* We are to trust wholly in God, who is able to give us Life at the resurrection or cast us into eternal death.
But I could find little on trusting others. It looks like we are to be wise, and not "cast our pearls before swine." Christ did not entrust himself to man, but held himself to God to be defined and informed by Him. In the last days when evil prevails, we are instructed in Micah to trust no one. But I don't think we are quite to that point of total depravity. I don't yet know anyone who has been betrayed to death by their children! And we are to be one just as the Father and the Son are one. I don't see how that can happen without a wealth of trust flowing both ways.
So, what do I think is going to happen if I trust my brothers and sisters? I think I will be misunderstood and that will make me feel like a freak. If I am real, people will get mad at me, because I argue with ideas they are attached to. I don't like that, it hurts. If I am vulnerable and ask for prayer, I will be counseled to do things I think are wrong--such as asking for forgiveness (I already got saved, and am forgiven--I would not insult Christ by implying that he didn't do a good enough job with my sin), or tithing so I can be blessed (law, flesh, selfishness...), or maybe the other person will attempt to cast out a demon (diagnosing that I'm a victim) when what I really need is to be called to repentence (to accept my responsibility). Arguing about theology and the foundations of our faith are not what I want to do when I am in need: I just want someone who understands the big picture to be beside me, hear my confession, pray for me. I have experienced ministry in the other situation. It feels like gravel in the mechanism. God still speaks and moves, though. Should I jump into that place because it is so exquisitely pulverizing?
My belief structure says that I don't get to decide what I'm going to do, because I'm not my own. If God tells me to go be a part of a Lutheran church, or Morman Church, or Baptist or any other, I am to go do it. But if he says not, then I may not. What I hear from God on this is so much dial tone. I have in the past felt like I was emphatically NOT to be going to church. But how then do we participate in the give/take of the body and introduce our children to Christian community, such an essential of our faith?
To go to church would mean that I could trust God in others. I would have to relax and figure, "Oh well, this all seems like an affront to the Most High to me, but I guess I'll go along with it and see what happens." Humility or insanity, I just don't know.
Christian Community
I am reprinting an article here by Wayne Jacobsen, titled "Why I Don't Go to Church Anymore." It is an excellent treastise on being the church, and is balanced and without venom. I hope you will enjoy it and be encouraged--no matter where you find yourself on Sunday mornings:
Why I Don't Go To Church Anymore!
BodyLife • May 2001
By Wayne Jacobsen
Dear Fellow-believer,
I do appreciate your concern for me and your willingness to raise issues that have caused you concern. I know the way I relate to the church is a bit unconventional and some even call it dangerous. Believe me, I understand that concern because I used to think that way myself and even taught others to as well.
If you are happy with the status quo of organized religion today, you may not like what you read here. My purpose is not to convince you to see this incredible church the same way I do, but to answer your questions as openly and honestly as I can. Even if we don't end up agreeing, hopefully you will understand that our differences need not estrange us as members of Christ's body.
Where do you go to church?
I have never liked this question, even when I was able to answer it with a specific organization. I know what it means culturally, but it is based on a false premise--that church is something you can go to as in a specific event, location or organized group. I think Jesus looks at the church quite differently. He didn't talk about it as a place to go to, but a way of living in relationship to him and to other followers of his.
Asking me where I go to church is like asking me where I go to Jacobsen. How do I answer that? I am a Jacobsen and where I go a Jacobsen is. 'Church' is that kind of word. It doesn't identify a location or an institution. It describes a people and how they relate to each other. If we lose sight of that, our understanding of the church will be distorted and we'll miss out on much of its joy.
Are you just trying to avoid the question?
I know it may only sound like quibbling over words, but words are important. When we only ascribe the term 'church' to weekend gatherings or institutions that have organized themselves as 'churches' we miss out on what it means to live as Christ's body. It will give us a false sense of security to think that by attending a meeting once a week we are participating in God's church. Conversely I hear people talk about 'leaving the church' when they stop attending a specific congregation.
But if the church is something we are, not someplace we go, how can we leave it unless we abandon Christ himself? And if I think only of a specific congregation as my part of the church, haven't I separated myself from a host of other brothers and sisters that do not attend the same one I do?
The idea that those who gather on Sunday mornings to watch a praise concert and listen to a teaching are part of the church and those who do not, are not, would be foreign to Jesus. The issue is not where we are at a given time during the weekend, but how we are living in him and with other believers all week long.
But don't we need regular fellowship?
I wouldn't say we need it. If we were in a place where we couldn't find other believers, Jesus certainly would be able to take care of us. Thus, I'd phrase that a bit differently: Will people who are growing to know the Living God also desire real and meaningful connections with other believers? Absolutely! The call to the kingdom is not a call to isolation. Every person I've ever met who is thriving in the life of Jesus has a desire to share authentic fellowship with other believers. They realize that whatever they know of God's life is just in part, and only the fullest revelation of him is in the church.
But sometimes that kind of fellowship is not easy to find. Periodically on this journey we may go through times when we can't seem to find any other believers who share our hunger. That's especially true for those who find that conforming to the expectations of the religious institutions around them diminishes their relationship with Jesus. They may find themselves excluded by believers with whom they've shared close friendship. But no one going through that looks on that time as a treat. It is incredibly painful and they will look for other hungry believers to share the journey with.
My favorite expression of body life is where a local group of people chooses to walk together for a bit of the journey by cultivating close friendships and learning how to listen to God together.
Shouldn't we be committed to a local fellowship?
That has been said so often today, that most of us assume it is in the Bible somewhere. I haven't found it yet. Many of us have been led to believe that we can't possibly survive without the 'covering of the body' and will either fall into error or backslide into sin. But doesn't that happen inside our local congregations as well?
I know many people who live outside those structures and find not only an ever-deepening relationship with God, but also connections with other believers that run far deeper than they found in the institution. I haven't lost any of my passion for Jesus or my affection for his church. If anything those have grown by leaps and bounds in recent years.
Scripture does encourage us to be devoted to one another not committed to an institution. Jesus indicated that whenever two or three people get together focused on him, they would experience the vitality of church life.
Is it helpful to regularly participate in a local expression of that reality? Of course. But we make a huge mistake when we assume that fellowship takes place just because we attend the same event together, even regularly, or because we belong to the same organization. Fellowship happens where people share the journey of knowing Jesus together. It consists of open, honest sharing, genuine concern about each other's spiritual well being and encouragement for people to follow Jesus however he leads them.
But don't our institutions keep us from error?
I'm sorry to burst your bubble here, but every major heresy that has been inflicted on God's people for the last 2,000 years has come from organized groups with 'leaders' who thought they knew God's mind better than anyone around them. Conversely, virtually every move of God among people hungering for him was rejected by the 'church' of that day and were excluded, excommunicated or executed for following God.
If that is where you hope to find security, I'm afraid it is sorely misplaced. Jesus didn't tell us that 'going to church' would keep us safe, but that trusting him would. He gave us an anointing of the Spirit so that we would know the difference between truth and error. That anointing is cultivated as we learn his ways in his Word and grow closer to his heart. It will help you recognize when expressions of church you share life with becomes destructive to his work in you.
So are traditional congregations wrong?
Absolutely not! I have found many of them with people who love God and are seeking to grow in his ways. I visit a couple of dozen different congregations a year that I find are far more centered on relationship than religion. Jesus is at the center of their life together, and those who act as leaders are true servants and not playing politics of leadership, so that all are encouraged to minister to one another.
I pray that even more of them are renewed in a passion for Jesus, a genuine concern for each other and a willingness to serve the world with God's love. But I think we'd have to admit that these are rare in our communities and many only last for a short span before they unwittingly look to institutional answers for the needs of the body instead of remaining dependent on Jesus. When that happens do not feel condemned if God leads you not to go along with them.
So should I stop going to church, too?
I'm afraid that question also misses the point. You see I don't believe you're going to church any more than I am. We're just part of it. Be your part, however Jesus calls you to and wherever he places you. Not all of us grow in the same environment.
If you gather with a group of believers at a specific time and place and that participation helps you grow closer to Jesus and allows you to follow his work in you, by all means don't think you have to leave. Keep in mind, however, that of itself is not the church. It is just one of many expressions of it in the place where you live.
Don't be tricked into thinking that just because you attend its meetings you are experiencing real body life. That only comes as God connects you with a handful of brothers and sisters with whom you can build close friendships and share the real ups and downs of this journey.
That can happen among traditional congregations, as it can also happen beyond them. In the last seven years I've meet hundreds if not thousands of people who have grown disillusioned with traditional congregations and are thriving spiritually as they share God's life with others, mostly in their homes.
Then meeting in homes is the answer?
Of course not. But let's be clear: as fun as it is to enjoy large group worship and even be instructed by gifted teachers, the real joy of body life can't be shared in huge groups. The church for its first 300 years found the home the perfect place to gather. They are much more suited to the dynamics of family which is how Jesus described his body.
But meeting in homes is no cure-all. I've been to some very sick home meetings and met in facilities with groups who shared an authentic body life together. But the time I spend in regular body life I want to spend face to face with a group of people. I know it isn't popular today where people find it is far easier to sit through a finely-tuned (or not so finely-tuned) service and go home without ever having to open up our life or care about another person's journey.
But ultimately what matters most to me is not where or how they meet, but whether or not people are focused on Jesus and really helping each other on the journey to becoming like him. Meetings are less the issue here than the quality of relationships. I am always looking for people like that wherever I am and always rejoice when I find it. In our new home in Oxnard, we've found a few folks and are hopeful to find even more.
Aren't you just reacting out of hurt?
I suppose that is possible and time will tell, I guess, but I honestly don't believe so. Anyone who is engaged in real body life will get hurt at times. But there are two kinds of hurt. There's the kind of pain that points to a problem that can be fixed with the right care—such as a badly sprained ankle. Then there's the kind of pain that can only be fixed by pulling away—as when you put your hand on a hot stove.
Perhaps all of us have experienced some measure of pain as we have tried to fit God's life into institutions. For a long time most of us hung in there hoping if we tweaked a few things it would get better. Though we could be successful in limited ways during moments of renewal, we also discovered that eventually the conformity an institution demands and the freedom people need to grow in Christ are at odds with one another. It has happened with virtually every group formed throughout the history of Christianity.
Are you looking for the perfect church?
No, and I don't anticipate finding one this side of eternity. Perfection is not my goal, but finding people with God's priorities. It's one thing for people to struggle toward an ideal they share together. It's another to realize that our ideals have little in common.
I make no secret of the fact that I am deeply troubled by the state of organized Christianity. Most of what we call 'church' today are nothing more than well-planned performances with little actual connection between believers. Believers are encouraged toward a growing dependency on the system or its leadership rather than on Jesus himself. We spend more energy conforming behavior to what the institution needs rather than helping people be transformed at the foot of the cross!
I'm tired of trying to fellowship with people who only view church as a two-hour a week dumping ground for guilt while they live the rest of the week with the same priorities as the world. I'm tired of those who depend on their own works of righteousness but who have no compassion for the people of the world. I'm tired of insecure people using the Body of Christ as an extension of their own ego and will manipulate it to satisfy their own needs. I'm tired of sermons more filled with the bondage of religion than the freedom of God's love and where relationships take a back seat to the demands of an efficient institution.
But don't our children need church activities?
I'd suggest that what they need most is to be integrated into God's life through relational fellowship with other believers. 92% of children who grow up in Sunday schools with all the puppets and high-powered entertainment, leave 'church' when they leave their parents' home? Instead of filling our children with ethics and rules we need to demonstrate how to live in God's life together.
Even sociologists tell us that the #1 factor in determining whether a child will thrive in society is if they have deep, personal friendships with nonrelative adults. No Sunday school can fill that role. I know of one community in Australia who after 20 years of sharing God's life together as families could say that they had not lost one child to the faith as they grew into adulthood. I know I cut across the grain here, but it is far more important that our children experience real fellowship among believers rather than the bells and whistles of a slick children's program.
What dynamics of body life do you look for?
I'm always looking for a people who are seeking to follow the Living Christ. He is at the center of their lives, their affections and their conversation. They look to be authentic and free others to hurt when they hurt, to question what they question and to follow his voice without others accusing them of being divisive or rebellious. I look for people who are not wasting their money on extravagant buildings or flashy programs; where people sitting next to each other are not strangers; and where they all participate as a priesthood to God instead of watch passively from a safe distance.
Aren't you giving people an excuse to sit home and do nothing?
I hope not, though I know it is a danger. I realize some people who leave traditional congregations end up abusing that freedom to satisfy their own desires and thus miss out on church life altogether. Neither am I a fan of 'church hoppers', who whip around to one place after another looking for the latest fad or the best opportunity to fulfill their own selfish desires.
But most of the people I meet and talk with are not outside the system because they have lost their passion for Jesus or his people, but only because the traditional congregations near them couldn't satisfy their hunger for relationship. They are seeking authentic expressions of body life and pay an incredible cost to seek it out. Believe me, we would all find it easier just to go with the flow, but once you've tasted of living fellowship between passionate believers, it is impossible to settle for anything less.
Isn't this view of church divisive?
Not of itself. People make it divisive when they demand that people conform to their revelation of truth. Most of us on the journey are accused of being divisive because freedom can be threatening to those who find their security in a religious system. But must of us aren't trying to recruit others to leave their congregations. We see the body of Christ big enough to encompass God's people however he calls them to gather.
One of the things often said about traditional church is that Sunday morning is the most segregated hour in American culture. We only meet with people who look like we do and like things the way we do. I've found now that I have far more opportunity to get with people from a broader cross-section of his body. I don't demand others do it my way and I hope in time that those who see it differently will stop demanding we conform to theirs.
Where can I find that kind of fellowship?
There's no easy answer here. It might be right in front of you among the fellowship you're already in. It might be down the street in your neighborhood or across a cubicle at work. You can also get involved in compassionate outreaches to the needy and broken in your locality as a way to live out his life in you and meet others with a similar hunger.
Don't expect this kind of fellowship to fall easily into an organization. It is organic, and Jesus can lead you to it right where you are. Look for him to put a dozen or so folks around your life with whom you can share the journey. They may not even all go to the same congregation you do. They might be neighbors or coworkers who are following after God. Wouldn't that kind of interconnection among God's people yield some incredible fruit?
Don't expect it to be easy or run smoothly. It will take some specific choices on our part to be obedient to Jesus. It may take some training to shake off old habits and be free to let him build his community around you, but it is all worth it. I know it bothers some people that I don't take my regular place in a pew on Sunday morning, but I can tell you absolutely that my worst days outside organized religion are still better than my best days inside it. To me the difference is like listening to someone talk about golf or actually taking a set of clubs out to a course and playing golf. Being his church is like that. In our day we don't need more talk about the church, but people who are simply ready to live in its reality.
People all over the world are freshly discovering how to do that again. You can be one of them as you let him place you in his body as he desires.
© Copyright 2001 by Lifestream Ministries
Permission is hereby granted to anyone wishing to make copies for free distribution.
Why I Don't Go To Church Anymore!
BodyLife • May 2001
By Wayne Jacobsen
Dear Fellow-believer,
I do appreciate your concern for me and your willingness to raise issues that have caused you concern. I know the way I relate to the church is a bit unconventional and some even call it dangerous. Believe me, I understand that concern because I used to think that way myself and even taught others to as well.
If you are happy with the status quo of organized religion today, you may not like what you read here. My purpose is not to convince you to see this incredible church the same way I do, but to answer your questions as openly and honestly as I can. Even if we don't end up agreeing, hopefully you will understand that our differences need not estrange us as members of Christ's body.
Where do you go to church?
I have never liked this question, even when I was able to answer it with a specific organization. I know what it means culturally, but it is based on a false premise--that church is something you can go to as in a specific event, location or organized group. I think Jesus looks at the church quite differently. He didn't talk about it as a place to go to, but a way of living in relationship to him and to other followers of his.
Asking me where I go to church is like asking me where I go to Jacobsen. How do I answer that? I am a Jacobsen and where I go a Jacobsen is. 'Church' is that kind of word. It doesn't identify a location or an institution. It describes a people and how they relate to each other. If we lose sight of that, our understanding of the church will be distorted and we'll miss out on much of its joy.
Are you just trying to avoid the question?
I know it may only sound like quibbling over words, but words are important. When we only ascribe the term 'church' to weekend gatherings or institutions that have organized themselves as 'churches' we miss out on what it means to live as Christ's body. It will give us a false sense of security to think that by attending a meeting once a week we are participating in God's church. Conversely I hear people talk about 'leaving the church' when they stop attending a specific congregation.
But if the church is something we are, not someplace we go, how can we leave it unless we abandon Christ himself? And if I think only of a specific congregation as my part of the church, haven't I separated myself from a host of other brothers and sisters that do not attend the same one I do?
The idea that those who gather on Sunday mornings to watch a praise concert and listen to a teaching are part of the church and those who do not, are not, would be foreign to Jesus. The issue is not where we are at a given time during the weekend, but how we are living in him and with other believers all week long.
But don't we need regular fellowship?
I wouldn't say we need it. If we were in a place where we couldn't find other believers, Jesus certainly would be able to take care of us. Thus, I'd phrase that a bit differently: Will people who are growing to know the Living God also desire real and meaningful connections with other believers? Absolutely! The call to the kingdom is not a call to isolation. Every person I've ever met who is thriving in the life of Jesus has a desire to share authentic fellowship with other believers. They realize that whatever they know of God's life is just in part, and only the fullest revelation of him is in the church.
But sometimes that kind of fellowship is not easy to find. Periodically on this journey we may go through times when we can't seem to find any other believers who share our hunger. That's especially true for those who find that conforming to the expectations of the religious institutions around them diminishes their relationship with Jesus. They may find themselves excluded by believers with whom they've shared close friendship. But no one going through that looks on that time as a treat. It is incredibly painful and they will look for other hungry believers to share the journey with.
My favorite expression of body life is where a local group of people chooses to walk together for a bit of the journey by cultivating close friendships and learning how to listen to God together.
Shouldn't we be committed to a local fellowship?
That has been said so often today, that most of us assume it is in the Bible somewhere. I haven't found it yet. Many of us have been led to believe that we can't possibly survive without the 'covering of the body' and will either fall into error or backslide into sin. But doesn't that happen inside our local congregations as well?
I know many people who live outside those structures and find not only an ever-deepening relationship with God, but also connections with other believers that run far deeper than they found in the institution. I haven't lost any of my passion for Jesus or my affection for his church. If anything those have grown by leaps and bounds in recent years.
Scripture does encourage us to be devoted to one another not committed to an institution. Jesus indicated that whenever two or three people get together focused on him, they would experience the vitality of church life.
Is it helpful to regularly participate in a local expression of that reality? Of course. But we make a huge mistake when we assume that fellowship takes place just because we attend the same event together, even regularly, or because we belong to the same organization. Fellowship happens where people share the journey of knowing Jesus together. It consists of open, honest sharing, genuine concern about each other's spiritual well being and encouragement for people to follow Jesus however he leads them.
But don't our institutions keep us from error?
I'm sorry to burst your bubble here, but every major heresy that has been inflicted on God's people for the last 2,000 years has come from organized groups with 'leaders' who thought they knew God's mind better than anyone around them. Conversely, virtually every move of God among people hungering for him was rejected by the 'church' of that day and were excluded, excommunicated or executed for following God.
If that is where you hope to find security, I'm afraid it is sorely misplaced. Jesus didn't tell us that 'going to church' would keep us safe, but that trusting him would. He gave us an anointing of the Spirit so that we would know the difference between truth and error. That anointing is cultivated as we learn his ways in his Word and grow closer to his heart. It will help you recognize when expressions of church you share life with becomes destructive to his work in you.
So are traditional congregations wrong?
Absolutely not! I have found many of them with people who love God and are seeking to grow in his ways. I visit a couple of dozen different congregations a year that I find are far more centered on relationship than religion. Jesus is at the center of their life together, and those who act as leaders are true servants and not playing politics of leadership, so that all are encouraged to minister to one another.
I pray that even more of them are renewed in a passion for Jesus, a genuine concern for each other and a willingness to serve the world with God's love. But I think we'd have to admit that these are rare in our communities and many only last for a short span before they unwittingly look to institutional answers for the needs of the body instead of remaining dependent on Jesus. When that happens do not feel condemned if God leads you not to go along with them.
So should I stop going to church, too?
I'm afraid that question also misses the point. You see I don't believe you're going to church any more than I am. We're just part of it. Be your part, however Jesus calls you to and wherever he places you. Not all of us grow in the same environment.
If you gather with a group of believers at a specific time and place and that participation helps you grow closer to Jesus and allows you to follow his work in you, by all means don't think you have to leave. Keep in mind, however, that of itself is not the church. It is just one of many expressions of it in the place where you live.
Don't be tricked into thinking that just because you attend its meetings you are experiencing real body life. That only comes as God connects you with a handful of brothers and sisters with whom you can build close friendships and share the real ups and downs of this journey.
That can happen among traditional congregations, as it can also happen beyond them. In the last seven years I've meet hundreds if not thousands of people who have grown disillusioned with traditional congregations and are thriving spiritually as they share God's life with others, mostly in their homes.
Then meeting in homes is the answer?
Of course not. But let's be clear: as fun as it is to enjoy large group worship and even be instructed by gifted teachers, the real joy of body life can't be shared in huge groups. The church for its first 300 years found the home the perfect place to gather. They are much more suited to the dynamics of family which is how Jesus described his body.
But meeting in homes is no cure-all. I've been to some very sick home meetings and met in facilities with groups who shared an authentic body life together. But the time I spend in regular body life I want to spend face to face with a group of people. I know it isn't popular today where people find it is far easier to sit through a finely-tuned (or not so finely-tuned) service and go home without ever having to open up our life or care about another person's journey.
But ultimately what matters most to me is not where or how they meet, but whether or not people are focused on Jesus and really helping each other on the journey to becoming like him. Meetings are less the issue here than the quality of relationships. I am always looking for people like that wherever I am and always rejoice when I find it. In our new home in Oxnard, we've found a few folks and are hopeful to find even more.
Aren't you just reacting out of hurt?
I suppose that is possible and time will tell, I guess, but I honestly don't believe so. Anyone who is engaged in real body life will get hurt at times. But there are two kinds of hurt. There's the kind of pain that points to a problem that can be fixed with the right care—such as a badly sprained ankle. Then there's the kind of pain that can only be fixed by pulling away—as when you put your hand on a hot stove.
Perhaps all of us have experienced some measure of pain as we have tried to fit God's life into institutions. For a long time most of us hung in there hoping if we tweaked a few things it would get better. Though we could be successful in limited ways during moments of renewal, we also discovered that eventually the conformity an institution demands and the freedom people need to grow in Christ are at odds with one another. It has happened with virtually every group formed throughout the history of Christianity.
Are you looking for the perfect church?
No, and I don't anticipate finding one this side of eternity. Perfection is not my goal, but finding people with God's priorities. It's one thing for people to struggle toward an ideal they share together. It's another to realize that our ideals have little in common.
I make no secret of the fact that I am deeply troubled by the state of organized Christianity. Most of what we call 'church' today are nothing more than well-planned performances with little actual connection between believers. Believers are encouraged toward a growing dependency on the system or its leadership rather than on Jesus himself. We spend more energy conforming behavior to what the institution needs rather than helping people be transformed at the foot of the cross!
I'm tired of trying to fellowship with people who only view church as a two-hour a week dumping ground for guilt while they live the rest of the week with the same priorities as the world. I'm tired of those who depend on their own works of righteousness but who have no compassion for the people of the world. I'm tired of insecure people using the Body of Christ as an extension of their own ego and will manipulate it to satisfy their own needs. I'm tired of sermons more filled with the bondage of religion than the freedom of God's love and where relationships take a back seat to the demands of an efficient institution.
But don't our children need church activities?
I'd suggest that what they need most is to be integrated into God's life through relational fellowship with other believers. 92% of children who grow up in Sunday schools with all the puppets and high-powered entertainment, leave 'church' when they leave their parents' home? Instead of filling our children with ethics and rules we need to demonstrate how to live in God's life together.
Even sociologists tell us that the #1 factor in determining whether a child will thrive in society is if they have deep, personal friendships with nonrelative adults. No Sunday school can fill that role. I know of one community in Australia who after 20 years of sharing God's life together as families could say that they had not lost one child to the faith as they grew into adulthood. I know I cut across the grain here, but it is far more important that our children experience real fellowship among believers rather than the bells and whistles of a slick children's program.
What dynamics of body life do you look for?
I'm always looking for a people who are seeking to follow the Living Christ. He is at the center of their lives, their affections and their conversation. They look to be authentic and free others to hurt when they hurt, to question what they question and to follow his voice without others accusing them of being divisive or rebellious. I look for people who are not wasting their money on extravagant buildings or flashy programs; where people sitting next to each other are not strangers; and where they all participate as a priesthood to God instead of watch passively from a safe distance.
Aren't you giving people an excuse to sit home and do nothing?
I hope not, though I know it is a danger. I realize some people who leave traditional congregations end up abusing that freedom to satisfy their own desires and thus miss out on church life altogether. Neither am I a fan of 'church hoppers', who whip around to one place after another looking for the latest fad or the best opportunity to fulfill their own selfish desires.
But most of the people I meet and talk with are not outside the system because they have lost their passion for Jesus or his people, but only because the traditional congregations near them couldn't satisfy their hunger for relationship. They are seeking authentic expressions of body life and pay an incredible cost to seek it out. Believe me, we would all find it easier just to go with the flow, but once you've tasted of living fellowship between passionate believers, it is impossible to settle for anything less.
Isn't this view of church divisive?
Not of itself. People make it divisive when they demand that people conform to their revelation of truth. Most of us on the journey are accused of being divisive because freedom can be threatening to those who find their security in a religious system. But must of us aren't trying to recruit others to leave their congregations. We see the body of Christ big enough to encompass God's people however he calls them to gather.
One of the things often said about traditional church is that Sunday morning is the most segregated hour in American culture. We only meet with people who look like we do and like things the way we do. I've found now that I have far more opportunity to get with people from a broader cross-section of his body. I don't demand others do it my way and I hope in time that those who see it differently will stop demanding we conform to theirs.
Where can I find that kind of fellowship?
There's no easy answer here. It might be right in front of you among the fellowship you're already in. It might be down the street in your neighborhood or across a cubicle at work. You can also get involved in compassionate outreaches to the needy and broken in your locality as a way to live out his life in you and meet others with a similar hunger.
Don't expect this kind of fellowship to fall easily into an organization. It is organic, and Jesus can lead you to it right where you are. Look for him to put a dozen or so folks around your life with whom you can share the journey. They may not even all go to the same congregation you do. They might be neighbors or coworkers who are following after God. Wouldn't that kind of interconnection among God's people yield some incredible fruit?
Don't expect it to be easy or run smoothly. It will take some specific choices on our part to be obedient to Jesus. It may take some training to shake off old habits and be free to let him build his community around you, but it is all worth it. I know it bothers some people that I don't take my regular place in a pew on Sunday morning, but I can tell you absolutely that my worst days outside organized religion are still better than my best days inside it. To me the difference is like listening to someone talk about golf or actually taking a set of clubs out to a course and playing golf. Being his church is like that. In our day we don't need more talk about the church, but people who are simply ready to live in its reality.
People all over the world are freshly discovering how to do that again. You can be one of them as you let him place you in his body as he desires.
© Copyright 2001 by Lifestream Ministries
Permission is hereby granted to anyone wishing to make copies for free distribution.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
There's More
Faith says “There’s More.”
Sometimes I’m tempted to close my hand and withhold what is asked because my resources are limited. “I can’t give you this, it’s all I have!”
But Faith says, “There’s more!” and freely gives out of the wealth of the Father.
Sometimes, I close my eyes in fear, and resist what is or might be. “This horrible thing is all there will ever be!”
But Faith says, “There’s more!” and extends the vision of eternal peace and life on a restored Earth, sharing in the glory of the Son.
Sometimes, I am sure I am all alone. “No one is beside me, no one understands!”
But Faith says, “There’s more!” and reveals a host of brothers and sisters that share in One Faith, One baptism, and pursue the same God and Father of all.
Sometimes, I smugly declare that I’ve understood it all. “I have grasped the mind of God.”
And Faith, smiling, says, “There’s more!” and reveals treasures to the horizon, untasted.
Sometimes I’m tempted to close my hand and withhold what is asked because my resources are limited. “I can’t give you this, it’s all I have!”
But Faith says, “There’s more!” and freely gives out of the wealth of the Father.
Sometimes, I close my eyes in fear, and resist what is or might be. “This horrible thing is all there will ever be!”
But Faith says, “There’s more!” and extends the vision of eternal peace and life on a restored Earth, sharing in the glory of the Son.
Sometimes, I am sure I am all alone. “No one is beside me, no one understands!”
But Faith says, “There’s more!” and reveals a host of brothers and sisters that share in One Faith, One baptism, and pursue the same God and Father of all.
Sometimes, I smugly declare that I’ve understood it all. “I have grasped the mind of God.”
And Faith, smiling, says, “There’s more!” and reveals treasures to the horizon, untasted.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
The Author's Answer
Said Faithless Heart to its master,
Am I safe?
Am I loved?
Are all these ugly things covered over?
Shall I be kept?
And will you name me?
Said master's lips, “But of course,”
But his heart spoke louder still:
You are not okay,
Undeserving of protection,
How can what's ugly be called lovely?
You are naked and unworthy,
I have no name to speak for you.
Then Faithless Heart's eyes were downcast,
Heart reverberating with the words: they are true.
Who can unmake this?
Who can call what is not as though it were?
Came the Faithful One, saying to the Heart,
“Now hear the Truth:
I AM your husband,
I AM your fortress,
By My love and not your merit, I love you,
I cover you and present you clothed,
You shall be ever kept,
And He spoke a secret name, with Holy Breath.
Faithless Heart no more you'll be,
Accept my answer and cease to ask.
But if ever you do, I, your True Lord, will answer again the same:
I AM your rock and you are mine,
You shall see what I will do."
And so she took her name and asked no more.
Psalms 131
My heart is not proud, O LORD,my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me.
But I have stilled and quieted my soul;
like a weaned child with its mother,
like a weaned child is my soul within me.
O Israel, put your hope in the LORD both now and forevermore.
Am I safe?
Am I loved?
Are all these ugly things covered over?
Shall I be kept?
And will you name me?
Said master's lips, “But of course,”
But his heart spoke louder still:
You are not okay,
Undeserving of protection,
How can what's ugly be called lovely?
You are naked and unworthy,
I have no name to speak for you.
Then Faithless Heart's eyes were downcast,
Heart reverberating with the words: they are true.
Who can unmake this?
Who can call what is not as though it were?
Came the Faithful One, saying to the Heart,
“Now hear the Truth:
I AM your husband,
I AM your fortress,
By My love and not your merit, I love you,
I cover you and present you clothed,
You shall be ever kept,
And He spoke a secret name, with Holy Breath.
Faithless Heart no more you'll be,
Accept my answer and cease to ask.
But if ever you do, I, your True Lord, will answer again the same:
I AM your rock and you are mine,
You shall see what I will do."
And so she took her name and asked no more.
Psalms 131
My heart is not proud, O LORD,my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me.
But I have stilled and quieted my soul;
like a weaned child with its mother,
like a weaned child is my soul within me.
O Israel, put your hope in the LORD both now and forevermore.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Successful Discipleship?
I've been listening to a sermon that our friend Mike gave at church back in July. It was about how Mary of Bethany modeled discipleship. (July 22 at this site: http://www.lwf4sq.com/LWF/resources/sermons.htm ) I am deeply frustrated listening to this. I can't really figure out what I'm supposed to hang on to in it. I can hear that I'm supposed to be passionately, obsessively focused on Christ. Yet, I'm not. The only response I have to this is to feel guilty and inferior because I'm unmoved. Sometimes I think I'm just going to hell...except I don' t think I believe in hell (anhiliationist). I don't trust this message. I can hear the truth in it—that we must love God with all our heart, soul, mind, strength. And I recall the times of my life when sacrifice was easy in pursuit of God. I have these two voices speaking in my head. The female voice is the voice of the last charismatic church we were part of. It beckons me to be engage my soul in God, drinking in who he is with every bit of my being. To be overwhelmed and carried away. The male voice, is that of my husband who says that truth makes us free and we must discover it and walk in it. It assures me that what God is and wants is not vague and slippery, and that the grand plan is more than making me feel good. It's logical, ordered and specific. And definitely missing something. Here is some of what the two voices say:
SHE says: The way to the successful Christian life: cultivate an experiential relationship with God that makes you aware of God's glory, holiness, love and power. Meditate on it, feel the rush of emotions that come through singing about it and taking in Christian art. This awareness will make you better able to hear God's voice and put you in touch with the power of God to live out his will. You'll feel exhilerated, so you'll know its working. You will want to do the right thing. You should concern yourself with trying to be as deeply engrossed in God as you can. You need to do things that make you feel like thinking about God and listening to him. The successful Christian life is defined by a mystical quality of life. God's best disciples are the ones that are passionate. The emotional certainty that is faith, and the passion that is love are what God requires.
HE says: The way to the successful Christian life is to find out what is true, which will make you truly free to walk with God. The role of the Holy Spirit is to lead us into all truth, not all feelings. So we should read the Bible searching for his essentials, and embrace them. These include a proper understanding of why Jesus came, the impact of his resurrection, the purpose of the spirit and a firm grasp of the hope that inspired the Apostles—to start with. Singing songs that make us feel things that aren't true will hurt us in this process. Feelings follow thoughts and must always be subject to what is true. They are not useful for serving God, but are a nice by product, when they happen. God isn't disappointed when we don't feel much. Love is not so much an emotion, but the laying down of self, which we will rarely feel like doing—take Jesus for example. He didn't feel like going to the cross, but he did, out of obedience to the Father and for the reward waiting for him. Faith and Love are what God requires, and neither are emotions. Faith is walking as though what is true IS true, and love is the denial of self for the best good of another.
SHE says: The way to the successful Christian life: cultivate an experiential relationship with God that makes you aware of God's glory, holiness, love and power. Meditate on it, feel the rush of emotions that come through singing about it and taking in Christian art. This awareness will make you better able to hear God's voice and put you in touch with the power of God to live out his will. You'll feel exhilerated, so you'll know its working. You will want to do the right thing. You should concern yourself with trying to be as deeply engrossed in God as you can. You need to do things that make you feel like thinking about God and listening to him. The successful Christian life is defined by a mystical quality of life. God's best disciples are the ones that are passionate. The emotional certainty that is faith, and the passion that is love are what God requires.
HE says: The way to the successful Christian life is to find out what is true, which will make you truly free to walk with God. The role of the Holy Spirit is to lead us into all truth, not all feelings. So we should read the Bible searching for his essentials, and embrace them. These include a proper understanding of why Jesus came, the impact of his resurrection, the purpose of the spirit and a firm grasp of the hope that inspired the Apostles—to start with. Singing songs that make us feel things that aren't true will hurt us in this process. Feelings follow thoughts and must always be subject to what is true. They are not useful for serving God, but are a nice by product, when they happen. God isn't disappointed when we don't feel much. Love is not so much an emotion, but the laying down of self, which we will rarely feel like doing—take Jesus for example. He didn't feel like going to the cross, but he did, out of obedience to the Father and for the reward waiting for him. Faith and Love are what God requires, and neither are emotions. Faith is walking as though what is true IS true, and love is the denial of self for the best good of another.
Monday, September 3, 2007
The Dirt Bride
My husband says I'm dirt. But I try not to take it personally, because he says the Bible says that we are all dust. I think there is probably some scriptural substance to that. But it sure runs counter to the popular view that we are the adored Bride of Christ (which, of course we are too...) So in the one view, we are small, insignificant, without worth or even life on our own. My husband's theory is that God made us dirt people as visual aids in a story he's telling the angels: "Look, this is the kind of God I am. I can take little dirt people, and give them life and make them eternal. I can lay down my glory and become one of them, share in their dirt life and death, and take up my glory again, actually making the dirt people eternal shining beings who reflect my glory." And he loves us, yes, because He is Love. He can't help himself from loving us, because he's love. But not in a gushy way, because he does, apparently, create some people for destruction. I don't really get that.
So this is the argument we have: are we dirt people, or are we the Darling of the Almighty? How close to the mark is the very modern idea of being Jesus' Girlfriend, the church? What is the personal impact of being the spotless (Dirt) Bride of Jesus?
So, I went to my handy dandy bible program and started to look at what we are promised in Christ, just a bit. I started out with "reward." I had the idea in my head that somewhere in there it said that we are Jesus' reward for going through the cross. Anyone remember the Russ Taff song "We are his medals?" I wanted to see if that was in the bible. I couldn't find it. Anybody out there know of scriptural basis for this idea?
While looking into that, I found Col 3:23-24: "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward." That intrigued me. An inheritence. That rings a bell: the old covenant. The old deal was that if Israel followed the rules, God would be "their God" (be related to them) and give them a secure homeland. An inheritance. If "all God's promises are Yes and Amen in Christ Jesus," then, what promises might that be? Any random word he ever spoke to anyone? That's just silly. I don't buy that you can pluck an out of context quote from God and believe it or pray it into your life by force. No, the promises that are Yes and Amen in Christ are the hope of the eternal inheritance. We have received the spirit of Sonship, and been adopted. He is our God. And we will be given an incorruptible body to live in on a restored Earth, ruled by King Jesus Himself. But, I digress. I wanted to see if there is merit in the idea that God is just crazy about me. To what extent is my Christian hope to be intimate with the Most High God.
Did you ever stop to think how recent the emphasis on relationship with God is, as a Christian idea? I somehow doubt that the Apostle Paul ever "Asked Jesus into his heart." What scriptural foundation do we have for the concept of Christianity being relational at its core? I mean, I really like that idea. It makes sense to me. But was it part of the gospel preached by the disciples?
I am continuing to search the Bible on this topic. It would make me feel good to be something more important to God than a visual aid. I would like something more personal than comic book super strength in my resurrected life in the coming age. What does the Bible actually say?
So this is the argument we have: are we dirt people, or are we the Darling of the Almighty? How close to the mark is the very modern idea of being Jesus' Girlfriend, the church? What is the personal impact of being the spotless (Dirt) Bride of Jesus?
So, I went to my handy dandy bible program and started to look at what we are promised in Christ, just a bit. I started out with "reward." I had the idea in my head that somewhere in there it said that we are Jesus' reward for going through the cross. Anyone remember the Russ Taff song "We are his medals?" I wanted to see if that was in the bible. I couldn't find it. Anybody out there know of scriptural basis for this idea?
While looking into that, I found Col 3:23-24: "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward." That intrigued me. An inheritence. That rings a bell: the old covenant. The old deal was that if Israel followed the rules, God would be "their God" (be related to them) and give them a secure homeland. An inheritance. If "all God's promises are Yes and Amen in Christ Jesus," then, what promises might that be? Any random word he ever spoke to anyone? That's just silly. I don't buy that you can pluck an out of context quote from God and believe it or pray it into your life by force. No, the promises that are Yes and Amen in Christ are the hope of the eternal inheritance. We have received the spirit of Sonship, and been adopted. He is our God. And we will be given an incorruptible body to live in on a restored Earth, ruled by King Jesus Himself. But, I digress. I wanted to see if there is merit in the idea that God is just crazy about me. To what extent is my Christian hope to be intimate with the Most High God.
Did you ever stop to think how recent the emphasis on relationship with God is, as a Christian idea? I somehow doubt that the Apostle Paul ever "Asked Jesus into his heart." What scriptural foundation do we have for the concept of Christianity being relational at its core? I mean, I really like that idea. It makes sense to me. But was it part of the gospel preached by the disciples?
I am continuing to search the Bible on this topic. It would make me feel good to be something more important to God than a visual aid. I would like something more personal than comic book super strength in my resurrected life in the coming age. What does the Bible actually say?
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Contrasting Covenants
I understand the Old Covenant to be this: Do what God says, and he will give you (Israel) land, prosperity and He will be your God. Fail to obey his statutes, and suffer separation and loss.
Time and again this deal is offered to them: be good, get stuff (material stuff.) Be bad, get spanked.
The Old Covenant has a measuring rod--the Law, and consequences of not meeting those standards. The Law is referred to by Christ as including even the Psalms. It is all of the teachings of the Old Testament: circumcision, the Ten Commandments, the sacrificial system, etc. The New Testament writers consisently write of it as an inviolable whole. If you break one part of it, you've shattered it all.
The energy of the Law is self-effort. YOU read the rules, YOU follow the rules, YOU get the treat. Good job, YOU.
The Law is perfect and holy, and in it is no mercy. If you put your hope in walking by these external codes, you must do it perfectly or die.
When Jesus came and taught under this Law (and his moral teachings were under law remember--the new covenant was ushered in not by his life, but by his death), he raised the stakes immeasurably. He clarified that not only being perfect on the outside was required, but also on the inside. It isn't enough to just not kill anyone, but you must not even have a murderous thought. It isn't enough to just act pure, but you can't lust in your heart of hearts. He wanted those listening to realize the hopeless situation they were in. They had no power to be perfect just as God himself is perfect. He was bringing them to a ripeness for the birth of a new thing.
The New Thing is the New Covenant. A new deal that God offered: Believe in my son, and receive eternal life. He did away with the old deal that we couldn't fulfill because of our flesh. No longer are we to be automously trying to fulfill a list of commands, making educated guesses about "What Jesus Would Do" in our place. Because of the death and resurrection of Christ, we've received the Holy Spirit, making it possible for each of us to walk as Jesus walked: connected to the heart of God, Alive like he was alive. Dimly now, and fully and brightly when he is revealed in his glory on that last day. But faith says "I have the spirit of God within me because of Christ, and I am not alone." It says this no matter what feelings or experiences may come. When thoughts flit, "I am abandoned" or "I must find my own way" we must take them captive to Christ: "No, I am adopted and will rule in Glory with my King," and "No, I leave off finding my own way and submit to the Father who loves me and fills me."
Time and again this deal is offered to them: be good, get stuff (material stuff.) Be bad, get spanked.
The Old Covenant has a measuring rod--the Law, and consequences of not meeting those standards. The Law is referred to by Christ as including even the Psalms. It is all of the teachings of the Old Testament: circumcision, the Ten Commandments, the sacrificial system, etc. The New Testament writers consisently write of it as an inviolable whole. If you break one part of it, you've shattered it all.
The energy of the Law is self-effort. YOU read the rules, YOU follow the rules, YOU get the treat. Good job, YOU.
The Law is perfect and holy, and in it is no mercy. If you put your hope in walking by these external codes, you must do it perfectly or die.
When Jesus came and taught under this Law (and his moral teachings were under law remember--the new covenant was ushered in not by his life, but by his death), he raised the stakes immeasurably. He clarified that not only being perfect on the outside was required, but also on the inside. It isn't enough to just not kill anyone, but you must not even have a murderous thought. It isn't enough to just act pure, but you can't lust in your heart of hearts. He wanted those listening to realize the hopeless situation they were in. They had no power to be perfect just as God himself is perfect. He was bringing them to a ripeness for the birth of a new thing.
The New Thing is the New Covenant. A new deal that God offered: Believe in my son, and receive eternal life. He did away with the old deal that we couldn't fulfill because of our flesh. No longer are we to be automously trying to fulfill a list of commands, making educated guesses about "What Jesus Would Do" in our place. Because of the death and resurrection of Christ, we've received the Holy Spirit, making it possible for each of us to walk as Jesus walked: connected to the heart of God, Alive like he was alive. Dimly now, and fully and brightly when he is revealed in his glory on that last day. But faith says "I have the spirit of God within me because of Christ, and I am not alone." It says this no matter what feelings or experiences may come. When thoughts flit, "I am abandoned" or "I must find my own way" we must take them captive to Christ: "No, I am adopted and will rule in Glory with my King," and "No, I leave off finding my own way and submit to the Father who loves me and fills me."
Christian Unity
We went to the community church service today. It is a once a year joint celebration in a local park, followed by a potluck lunch. The speaker spoke on Christian unity in a way that reminded me of King's "I have a dream" speech. He painted a picture of a community of believers that loved God and one another, and reached out and supported each other in practical ways. Where each person was walking in the Spirit to serve God by caring for one another in that ways for which they were gifted. I love this idea. I feel passionately about it, in fact. What I don't understand is how exactly that works.
My husband and I have "gifts" that sometimes annoy others and disrupt what they are doing. Take my rant about MTI for instance. As far as I can see, that program is a profoundly bad idea. Yet my brothers and sisters in Christ think its the best thing since sliced bread. And really, if there is no other place for folks to connect with each other or introduction to the basics of the gospel, it may be better than the nothing that they had. While I can fully support drawing together to learn more, how can I smile and sit by while we pretend to minister instead of actually doing it? And if everyone smiles and acts like it is fulfilling, they will continue to do it, ignoring real needs and good doctrine (in my opinion!) So, I feel like it is my calling in situations like that to say something. I don't mean attack people or accuse anyone, I mean to talk about how it impacted me personally and hold it up against scripture.
So, does love keep showing up when it doesn't make people happy? We have felt like God was telling us to leave these people alone and stop sweating it. So we've left them (and ourselves) alone. But if we were to be in the body, somehow and some way, what would that look like? Our doctrine is different than other believers, though they don't seem to think so. It appears to me like believing the truth is critically important--spiritual health, community, and perhaps salvation itself rest on it. I don't know how to be quiet when the preaching violates what I understand of Christ. Not that I know or understand everything, but even my questions seem not okay. It isn't up for discussion--we all know that Jesus Christ died for our sins and rose again. But why? And what does that mean for my present, my future? Why is that good news? I need to hear that stuff.
My husband and I have "gifts" that sometimes annoy others and disrupt what they are doing. Take my rant about MTI for instance. As far as I can see, that program is a profoundly bad idea. Yet my brothers and sisters in Christ think its the best thing since sliced bread. And really, if there is no other place for folks to connect with each other or introduction to the basics of the gospel, it may be better than the nothing that they had. While I can fully support drawing together to learn more, how can I smile and sit by while we pretend to minister instead of actually doing it? And if everyone smiles and acts like it is fulfilling, they will continue to do it, ignoring real needs and good doctrine (in my opinion!) So, I feel like it is my calling in situations like that to say something. I don't mean attack people or accuse anyone, I mean to talk about how it impacted me personally and hold it up against scripture.
So, does love keep showing up when it doesn't make people happy? We have felt like God was telling us to leave these people alone and stop sweating it. So we've left them (and ourselves) alone. But if we were to be in the body, somehow and some way, what would that look like? Our doctrine is different than other believers, though they don't seem to think so. It appears to me like believing the truth is critically important--spiritual health, community, and perhaps salvation itself rest on it. I don't know how to be quiet when the preaching violates what I understand of Christ. Not that I know or understand everything, but even my questions seem not okay. It isn't up for discussion--we all know that Jesus Christ died for our sins and rose again. But why? And what does that mean for my present, my future? Why is that good news? I need to hear that stuff.
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